Be Strung

Heart's pounding...

2011-12-19T12:59:00.004-05:00

‘It is important to forget the past, but it is even more important not to forget it.’
'Hardship is the greatest of anvils'

-the Puppet Master

The past is passed, we hear say. We need to leave things behind, it’s agreeable. We need to let go…now this, however, to some extent. The past, more than our present, has taken a most (if not THE most) important role in defining our role in that movie called ‘Our Lives’.
Sometimes we’d rather forget all the pain we have gone through, those times when our heart has been beaten to a pulp, beaten against a rock until no more blood and tears are left. Forgetting the pain does not protect us, it makes us oblivious to a potential upcoming catastrophe. That grinding of each wall of our hearts may leave cracks, but is it up to us to take that heart in our hand and place it on the flaming forge of our existence. We need to lift a hammer of reality, of recognition of the truth, and use it to pound that heart time and time again. Do it oneself can be more painful, but we don’t learn from the result, we learn best through the process.
We can seal the cracks, we can see where the strength is needed, but only if we are willing to stop covering our eyes to hide from our truth. It may take some time, it may surprise us that some tears are still left. Only after this entire process we will be able to cool it down to reveal an armored heart ready to face the same problem with a different approach.
Lesson learned: Behind each burning wound lies fertile ground for growth, it is up to take advantage of it.

Waking up...

2011-12-14T09:50:00.003-05:00

Eye windows open once again
The cold world is gone
Hibernation ends
It is time for the ice
To melt under the warmth
Of the heart's hearth

The pelt is shaken
The stregth returns
The joints move once more
As I pace around
A melting prison
The mouth is open

The fangs are bare
Claws pierce the ground
With fire, with fury
Atop the highest rock
For it is time to speak
It is time to howl
heed me, my pack
The Wolf has returned

Million air...

2010-10-10T09:16:00.001-04:00

There is no wealth but life.
John Ruskin

What a bad feeling when we ask for a raise at work and it is denied. We strongly believe we 'deserve it'(even if we know we really don't). All that we thought about doing with more money now fades away. Riches are here one day, and we dream while sleeping in a bed of gold and materialism.

Slowly, frustration crawls in. Like a worm under the skin of a corpse, it consumes us, eating our soul from inside...

Those people left homeless by a natural disaster are sometimes luckier than us. They learn that when all is gone there's only two things that matter, love and life.

Yes it is great to have material possessions. It is wonderful to sit in your perfect car, eat the perfect food, and dress the perfect clothes of your biased, imperfect world. What I mean is, if that is what makes you live a happy life, then you lead a sad life.

Lesson learned: Life is only worth living if we learn how to live it.

Invisible shackles...

2010-10-08T09:00:00.006-04:00

"First we make our habits, then our habits make us."
-Charles C Noble

'Good morning facebook'
'Eating'
'Hanging out with my friends'
'On my way to the supermarket'
'Ugh, what a headache'
'Good night facebook!'

Are you a slave?

Are you a facebook slave?

I have asked this several times to people and they have somehow felt offended. Its just a matter of analyzing oneself and producing a simple answer: 'Yes' or 'No'.
Most of us will say 'Of course not', but if we think clearly the answer will most likely be 'Of course I am'.

Please don't take me wrong, I have nothing against facebook. In fact it is great we can connect with people. Facebook is not the problem, the problem is us giving it a priority in our lives.
How many times a day do you log in to check facebook?
How many times a week do you update your status?
How many times do you post comments on people's every picture or comment?
How much time do you truly spend in a day on facebook?
How many times have you been logging in to facebook during a dinner? Or even worse, on a one-on-one dinner with someone, and not because you received a notice, but because unconsciously
it deserves more respect than the person facing you.

Can you stay a week without logging in to facebook? How about 24 hours? If you're able, how many times does facebook come to your mind? How crazy do you get when you log back in to try and 'catch up' with people's 'lives'.
We have a 'friends' list, which in the end many times is just a list of people we added because they look good. Are they truly our friends? Most likely not. Do they even care about all those 'Waking up', 'On my way to work' status updates? Again, most likely not.
But we delude ourselves, secretly believing we are popular and everyone wants to follow what we do every minute.

Maybe you disagree with me, or you may think it doesn't play such a big part in your life, for you have other priorities.

As a test, pick a friend on your facebook list and block them(or just become invisible to them). What happens next? They get offended...why? How would you feel if you were the one blocked from facebook? Probably offended too...why?

Because you haven't added facebook to your life, you have added your life
to facebook.

Some people have felt a little offended by the posting. Once again I say, facebook is not the problem. I have nothing against it. In fact, the word facebook can be substituted by video games, clothing, money, work, anything that takes the priority in your life. Someone even commented: 'ironic, you posted this on facebook'. It's not ironic. Then again, I decided facebook is a tool in my life, not a shackle.

If you're happy living as a slave by all means, please, stay a slave.

Lesson learned: If you give the leading role of your life to something other than yourself, don't feel bad people take less interest in the movie of your life.

Power drain...

2010-09-09T23:14:00.001-04:00

“You are only as powerful as the combined forces of everything opposing you.”
– The Puppet Master

Are you powerless?

Do you feel powerless?

How many times have you felt like that, not weak, not tired, but frankly just powerless?
Hope diminishes, faith dwindles, smiles fade because we are overcome by the vastness of the infinite strength of the impossible.

For the first time in a long time, I feel this way… powerless.
And powerlessness is not always a bad feeling. How so?
Well, power is defined as the capability to produce an effect. It also denotes the possession of control, authority or influence over others. Power can also mean a measure of physical or mental strength. How do we measure the amount of strength?
By opposing it.

Therefore, how powerful we are could potentially be measured by the opponents or opposing forces standing in front of us.

Why do we have to constantly face struggle to show ourselves how powerful we are amidst our own unhappiness?
To be/feel powerless can be a great feeling when there is no need to exert force.

Take a moment to sit down and think of every perceived obstacle that makes you feel “powerful” through opposition.
One by one, dismantle these obstacles either by overcoming them, or by realizing they are obstacles/enemies only because we see choose to see them as such.
You will live a better life this way.

Lesson learned: Draining oneself of all power can sometimes fill us with peace.

I Remember...

2010-08-31T14:25:00.002-04:00

I remember your smile when we first lay eyes on each other...
I remember the sweet words you whispered to my ear whenever we were close to each other...
I remember the warmth of your embrace while we cuddled in bed at night...
I remember your hand through my hair during our sad moments...
I remember how you took care of me when I was weak...
I remember your laughter the many times I made a fool of myself...
I remember watching you for hours while you were sleeping...
and I also remember waking you up with my playfulness so many times...
I remember you making sure I had the food I liked...
I remember always being by your side when you needed me...
I remember loving you and being loyal to a fault...
I remember how you said you loved me, and that nothing would keep us apart...

...if you remember it as much as I do, then why am i here?
(Thoughts of a dog in a shelter)

Condemn nation...

2010-08-24T11:10:00.005-04:00

"These figures emphasize how soft people's commitment to God is. Americans are willing to expend some energy in religious activities such as attending church and reading the Bible, and they are willing to throw some money in the offering basket, but when it comes time to truly establishing their priorities and making tangible commitment to knowing and loving God, most people stop short."
-George Barna

Equality is defined as the belief that all people should be treated the same.
Together with Freedom, Equality has been, since the beginning, one of the fundamental beliefs of democracy.

Why can't we let equality define our 'land of the free'?

To pay taxes, we are the same...
To be sued and judged, we are the same...
To have rights, however, ah...that's a different story.

Sadly, one of the biggest obstacles in the history of equality(in every sense of the word) has been Christianity. The light that shines on us can also blind us.
Why can't religious zealots allow same-sex couples marry if they choose to? How does it affect them? Guess it's hard to see others happy when you're having an unhappy life...

Religious fanatics are people who want to feel they have ultimate control of 'something'. They look for followers and thrive the most amongst a crowd of ignorant beings. That is how they feel valued. It's how their mindset(which they are quick to attribute to 'God') can be appreciated.

Funny thing, that the God of Hate they preach is the God of Love in their sacred books. The Judging Tyrant of a God they believe in is The Forgiving Martyr that their Holy Bible describes.
While religious zealots turn their backs on gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people the Lord they follow opened his arms to all, even dining with thieves, prostitutes and all 'scum'. He even told his followers: he who is free of all sin, cast the first stone; and Jesus himself didn't cast a stone because he chose to love.

Christ tells his followers to be like Him, to imitate his behavior. Christians, however, choose to ignore their master. Their Bible expressly condemns such behavior...but surely they don't see this, because it's as inconvenient to see as their own hatred and their playing judges of the World(when their own God forbids it).
In their fanaticism they forget about their own God's way, as they pave their own convenient interpretation of His way.

One day, any Christian can say their Bible reads, there will be surprises in Heaven. maybe we'll all be surprised these Christians aren't there.

Lesson learned: Christianity is not the problem. The problem is Christians. Such similar words, yet so different from one another.

School zone...

2010-08-11T13:36:00.002-04:00

'You live you learn...'
-Alanis Morissette

Take a single moment to think: If your life's learning process could be compared to the growth of a tree, what type of tree would you compare it to?

Will it be a palm tree resisting the worst of hurricanes?
A strong oak?
A small bonsai tree shying away from others?
Or even a mighty redwood?

If you chose a tree you limited the amount of learning you can acquire, even with the largest one of them all. There's a learning experience for each one of us in every small event we live through.
Sometimes we're just too busy to see them, or we may choose to become stagnant.
But even animals avoid stagnant water...

We, and only we, limit ourselves.

Just think of at least one or two things you've learned today.

You may have learned a new skill...
May have learned something after reading this blog...
Or maybe you have learned to ignore it...
All in all you have learned, and that's what matters.

Lesson learned: Only death will ever satiate my hunger for learning.

Wicked ways...

2010-07-30T19:14:00.002-04:00

Because I knew you, I have been changed...
-Wicked

The last five days I have lived through what I deem perhaps some of the most stressful moments in my entire life.
I have walked deserts of anger, rivers of tears, cliffs of hurt, plains of forgiveness, valleys of love, torrentials of worry and ultimately sailed through oceans of terror. But having survived through a hurricane of feelings in a world of uncertainty I've come to finalyl feel the joy of victory.

As hard as it was to chain the werewolf I had become and hold back from letting that fierce beast loose to ravage my life I was able to. Despite the scars that will now mark my soul I am happy, for I did it, I was able to.

Today I have to thank all those who have knowingly(or unknowingly) sought to do me harm in the past, for even if their names and actions are not worthy of credit or mention those have helped me grow.
With all certainty I can say I am a better man today than yesterday. Today I smile a brighter smile.

There's no worth in hurting others or be indifferent because of what someone has done to us in the past. Those feelings shoud die with the past.

And I quote the wise words of Elphaba and Glinda: Because I knew you I have been changed for good.

Lesson learned: We are all bigger than our pasts...if we want to be.

Comfort zone...

2010-05-15T17:58:00.007-04:00

"It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory." ~W. Edwards Deming

How much do we have to adapt to be happy?
After some consideration I came to realize that was not the right question.
I had to ask myself: How much am I willing to adapt in order to not long for happiness, but let happiness into my life?

The formation of our 'being' starts since our early childhood. These experiences give us strength, help us choose and form our fears. One of the greatest wonders of life is that we can choose how to manifest the marks left by these.
We animate all this data and manipulate it so that the character each one of us is can come to life.
Some believe these data have been collected, organized and 'it is what it is, and nothing more'.
As with the dinosaurs, one meteor will cause a catastrophe and leave their known worlds devoid of any chance to make it.

A tree grows with might, deep roots keeping it firmly in place. Time passes and roads are built and the tree it is cut down without pity, for its greatness and strength has become just an obstacle to progress.

An unyielding conch keeps many predators at bay with calcified spikes. It seems eternal. One day it is abandoned, for that same conch can't accommodate the growth of its inhabitant.
In order to grow and evolve, we must be able to move away from that comfort zone that, many times, has become more than a stone tower where we are protected. Sometimes we can't see that the same has become our prison from which we can look out to observe the beauty around, the same beauty we will never be a part of.

Lesson learned: If we don't ever have to venture out of our protective conch, we're either not growing, or we're dying inside.

Freedom's shackles...

2010-04-23T09:02:00.005-04:00

'Without freedom from the past, there is no freedom at all, because the mind is never new, fresh, innocent.'
-Krishnamurti

Doesn't it feel ggood when a burden is lifted off of our shoulders? Isn't it great when a small, hidden detail that can(in our minds) 'doom' us is erased or forgiven?
Many times this burden's weight is a product of our own actions. In these cases we, and only we, can free ourselves.

Last night I had a dream of being in a stage, a colisseum with thousands of people waiting expectantly for my words: 'What, in your lives, if brought to light, would affect your happiness and steal your goals from within our reach?'
No one clapped.
Morning came, and I woke up knowing to truly be happy I had to get rid of some of those little mines in the field I would be walking. Otherwise they'd blow my foundation to pieces one day.

So I chose to free myself. What an exhilarating feeling!

Open your mind...
clean your heart...
Free yourself...
...and experience life's blessings fully.

Lesson learned: There is no use in struggling to make ourselves free from the shackles when we hold the keys in our very own hands.

Child's play...

2010-04-12T12:48:00.004-04:00

'You must dare to disassociate yourself from those who would delay your journey... Leave, depart, if not physically, then mentally. Go your own way, quietly, undramatically, and venture toward trueness at last.'
-Vernon Howard

'You are'
'No, you are'
'YOU are!'
'YOU!!!'
Tears roll, arms flail...kicking, screaming, and everyone looks around for their mommy and daddy in this seemingly beloved kindergarden world of drama. It's the world they live in, the World they know, the world it's so scary to move away from.
Now why do people revel in so much drama? If you study these lives you'll see, without much effort, these people's lives are otherwise bland. They lack talent, the brains, wits, or charisma. What option do some people have other than reccur to a childhood defense mechanism, that of accusations, to feel back in the comfort of daddy's arms.
The more we decide to look at this as comfort the more we'll continue to grow backwards while our hearts age prematurely until we stunt our growth with the poking of our very own eyes.
Instead of blaming someone, open your eyes to see what you're contributing to this pathetic performance sometimes worthy of an Oscar. STOP doing it. Swat it like a fly, get it out of the way, and move on.

By seeing your part in the problem and quitting this possibly 'award winning movie role' we'll be able to grow up while our hearts and souls stay young.

Lesson learned: If drama is the way to be in the spotlight I'd rather stay behind the curtains.

Wrong date...

2010-04-01T11:04:00.003-04:00

'There is a time for everything...'
-Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

What happens to a cake that's prematurely removed from the oven...to a letter sent before it's finished...to a baby that's born before its time?

The same thing happens to relationships solidified over a foundation of fleeting passion which, like mud, swallows and stains it all in the blink of an eye.

Time can often be seen as an enemy, but it is not. Time is actually our biggest ally, as it lets things come to fruition. From romance to forgetfulness, from forgiveness to healing, they are all gifts adequate time in waiting gives us.

Are we talking? Dating? Together? Separate? Enemies? What the hell are we?
What does it matter? It's only a word, a fleeting word...what matters is the feeling behind it.

Patience is a virtue that brings happiness, peace, and love. It fuels desire and strengthens it.
Patience gives a blacksmith the time to create the most solid of armors and the strongest of weapons.

Lesson learned: Never again will I force a castle's door open, lest I forget how beautiful the entrance can be.

Wine's taste...

2010-02-28T15:50:00.004-05:00

Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. ~Samuel Ullman

One more year passes by and we look at our own reflection, searching for a gray hair, a fine line, a couple extra pounds, a wrinkle or any other small imperfection. The crude reality is we are aging...
Funny thing is we strive to 'look' younger, to satiate society's perception of vigor.

Vigor is defined as physical or mental strength, energy or force. It is also the capacity for natural growth and survival. Many times we strive to attain more vigor through shakes, exercises, make-up and classes.
Botox, a hair dye, muscles or breast implants will not renew your spirit. They may temporarily help you feel better, nothing wrong with that, but you have to freshen up your essence to truly gain strength. Vigor is within our grasp every day, you just need to reach inside of you for that which will keep you going against all odds.

What have we done in the last 365 days? How do we feel about that which we have done or accomplished? What went wrong? What can we feel happy about? How can we move towards a higher state of being where any physical improvements can be aids instead of solutions?

Live the life like a bottle of red wine.
Live gracefully, and guide the process by which you will become a better 'self'.

Let the World enjoy the best you have to offer.

Lesson learned: I will worry less and enjoy each moment more.

Fast calm...

2010-02-06T22:04:00.004-05:00

'Everything you do can be done better from a place of relaxation'
-Stephen C Paul

What ever lies inside the minds of those who protest in a line at the supermarket, bank, or waiting in a traffic jam? How about in those of people who, as soon as a light turns green, honk the horn several times?

What is their desperation? What's so important that they sacrifice their inner peace time and time again to really achieve nothing. They don't seem to be content with their discontent, but they also disturb others with their behavior.

Patience is a virtue. It is defined as 'the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, persevering in the face of delay or provocation without being annoyed'.
In Spanish the word is composed of Paz-ciencia (the science of peace).
Just as a science, inner peace and calm should be studied, understood, cultivated, promoted and practiced.

If you find yourself in a hurry stop for a moment. Stope reflecting that aura of unhappiness to those around. Even better, look at the face of someone else in a similar circumstance and just smile.
Don't take a part in promoting this behavior.

Instead of quickly getting disturbed, quickly reach that state of calmness.

Like a sensei, teach others this powerful lesson.

Lesson learned: When life's light turns green don't rush in. Just relax, take your time, and enjoy the ride peacefully.

Obstacle course...

2009-12-04T17:25:00.005-05:00

What one decides to do in crisis depends on one's philosophy of life, and that philosophy cannot be changed by an incident. If one hasn't any philosophy in crises, others make the decision.
- Jeannette Rankin

And yet we face another wall one more time. We have fought so hard to achieve one goal and after so many struggles we see the road closed.
A road closed does not mean there is no way. It just represents a temporary hardship, a delay in our plans.

How do you face a seemingly insurmountable problem?

What is your mindset?

Abortionists: A plan that doesn’t work must be abandoned; they change their mind, choose another way and go somewhere else. In the abortionist mindset this is not cowardice, there’s so much to do it’s not even worth spending energy in an obstacle.

Martyrs: They see every obstacle as a personal affront. Martyrs believe obstacles are there to defeat the martyr. But he will survive, with pain(real or imagined) and let everyone know of his struggle.

Victims: Obstacles were created specifically and only for them, like everything else in the world. Victims will surrender, give up, lie down and cry in waiting for someone to rescue them from the ‘claws of the evil obstacle’.

Survivors: Out of fear of what ‘could’ happen, survivors stand in front of the obstacle. They see in the obstacle what they themselves lack. ‘If you can’t defeat it, join it’ is their mentality. In the end they kneel before the obstacle and worship it, they join its forces and become ‘one’ with the obstacle.

Frat boys: In their mind, the main reason why an obstacle can’t be overcome is because you faced it alone. The frat boys bring along people, sometimes a lot of people. With a combined effort any obstacle can be overcome…and a celebration must follow, of course.

Juggernauts: No obstacle is too big or too strong. Nothing is stronger than a Juggernaut’s strength of will. They will back away and, without fear, they will run towards the obstacle to destroy it.

Knights: The knight may not be able to overcome the obstacle, but he is honor bound to stand his ground and not let himself be overcome by the obstacle either. Even if he stays on a standstill he will wait. One day the obstacle will fall, and the knight will still be standing.

Monks: These ascetics believe there is a reason why there is an obstacle. An obstacle is a part of everything. It should be studied, understood, accepted, and ultimately taught to others.

Preachers: Prechers believe they shouldn't be facing any obstacles. Obstacles are for others. They are very willing to mention it at every opportunity, just as eager as they are to help, guide and even order others to overcome the obstacles they would never face themselves.

Strategists: Sometimes one must back away from the hardship, these believe, only to see it from a distance and contemplate. They then plan, search a way, and they use all their efforts to confront the problem differently. Each obstacle is seen as a challenge, as an opportunity to test their wit.

Who are you? How do you face a problem?
Do you face problems, or do you let problems face you?

Life is full of difficulties. Life is not without struggles. When you are struggling to stay afloat you can think one of two things…I can give up and die, or I can fight on and live…

Lesson learned: A roadblock at the end of our road is not the end of the road.

Candle's light...

2009-11-10T19:37:00.002-05:00

Every man dies. Not every man really lives.
William Wallace

No matter how busy our lives can be, a day of reflection comes every year.
At least once we can’t help it but reflect in things past.

Have we achieved our goals for this year?
Have we saved as much as we wanted to?
Have we made up peace with someone?
Have we gotten a raise?
Have we meditated enough?

Those can be truly important things to reflect upon…but if those ARE the important things we do reflect upon, then our lives are nothing more than a flicker of a candle waiting to be extinguished.

How many lives have you touched?
How many lives have you changed?
How many have you influenced in a good way?

If you died today…how worth living was your life?
Will you be remembered?
How will you be remembered; or will you fade in the ocean of faces unknown, a specter to be dismissed and exorcised forever from this World when his sentence is due.

Lesson learned: Shine bright as the sun and your life will be worth living.

Falling leaves...

2009-10-19T20:48:00.004-04:00

To: Jeff, I am with you in these tough times, my friend...

When the last leaf falls,
When the last breeze leaves,
I’ll be there for you again,
You’ll be there again with me,

When the last leaf falls,
When the fall does leave,
Memories will stay,
They will reign supreme,

When the last leaf falls,
When the last star shines,
Endless time will stop,
It will let us be,
Losing all control,
And its icy grasp,
Hurrying every step,
Of our so called life

When the last leaf falls,
And your earth turns dry,
When there are no tears,
For there’s only peace

When the last leaf falls,
And I’m no more a child,
When our hair turns gray,
Our dreams not as wild

When the last leaf falls
When my eyes do close
You will wait for me
When my last leaf falls…

Inglorious glorification...

2009-10-16T08:29:00.004-04:00

'For my part, I consider that it will be found much better by all parties to leave the past to history, especially as I propose to write that history myself.'
-Winston Churchill

What has been the greatest of achievements you've had in your life so far?

Many people have done great things...
Others think or feel they have done great things...

What matters is not how big or small, rather than it was a glorious moment. Sometimes we feel everyone needs to know about it that moment.

Why?

It is because we unconsciously believe that is THE ONE greatest moment. Perhaps we do unconsciously feel no other moment like this will come. And hardly another will come, for in our accepting our 'maximum' we don't strive to achieve it.
Maybe it is because in our self-depreciation we revel in the recognition from others. In any case we are as foolish, senile storytellers of old, telling all around us about what happened so long ago nobody really cares to listen.

We need to be proud of our achievements, of course. However, when those accomplishmentst tower over the way we perceive ourselves it is almost impossible to escape their shadow. We are then engulfed, kept from achieving anything greater by our own effort.

The past is passed, the past is history. It's good to know it and enjoy it, but it shouldn't rule us.
Let your glorious past be a guide to things you want to do, and do even greater things. Do not let it determine that that's your moment, and all that's left is to be forgotten...

Lesson learned: I will not be seduced by the ephemeral hands of past glories, lest I become a statue in Medusa's lair.

Ocean pacific...

2009-10-05T15:03:00.005-04:00

Morning time, I lie awake
With no desire but to breathe
And no goal in mind but to take
A plunge in ocean deep

The constant motion
At bewitching hour
Making me prisoner
Of your heart's desire

My curse undeserved
But well received
As every day I see
Your eyes in that ocean

So as I watch the orbs
The enchanting twins
I'm at peace, feeling
Captured...
...amazed...
...enraptured

I become victim
Willing sacrifice
To sorceries eternal
Of smiling charms

I know they're near
Though they are far
So in between
All I have

...is to think

It's late at night, I lie awake
With no desire but to breathe
And no goal in mind but to take
A plunge in your eyes so deep

Pack tactic…

2009-10-05T08:54:00.002-04:00

‘The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him’
-Henry Stimson

Even in our most desired independence we are but a conglomeration of characteristics of those around us. However, not the traits, but the amount of each is what define us.

And who are those that help define us? Who are those that surround us? Most importantly, who are those we surround ourselves with?

Out of those around, who can you trust? Who can you truly trust?

To many, the concept of fully trusting other people is difficult to conceive. The main excuse for not trusting others is that ‘others can hurt/disappoint me’.
There are several things to note in that last phrase:
1. What negative trait we see in others, on very many occasions, are negative traits we possess, dislike, and conveniently overlook (think of it next time you criticize someone else).
2. We are giving others the power to determine how we’ll feel.
3. Most importantly, others do not disappoint/hurt you, YOU CHOOSE to feel hurt or disappointed.
4. Time and time again has been proven that those who do not fully trust cannot be trusted themselves.

Wolves live in packs; they are the perfect example of unconditional love, respect, and complete trust. Each one understands their role in their society, and contributes his best for the betterment of the pack as a whole. Every member of the same pack, from the leader to the last one, can trust each and every wolf to do what they must to do preserve the integrity and functionality of their family, thus improving their chances of survival and success. They will surround an opponent, and the same will be defeated by being attacked only by those who can see the weak points. In the meantime the opponent is confused by the unity of the pack.
Everyone’s contribution leads the plan to fruition.

Think of who do you trust enough to have as part of the pack you call your LIFE. Who contributes something useful? Who will lead you to failure? Maybe there’s time for some changes.

Lesson learned: Surround yourself with those people you trust, and trust those people you surround yourself with.

Goal set…

2009-09-26T23:31:00.004-04:00

'In order to reach your goal you must first define it...'
-The Puppet Master

Where were you one year ago from today?

What were you doing?

How did you feel back then?

Where were you hoping to be today?

How far from where you expected to be have you drifted?

…why?

What has become your prison?
What has seemed so strong you have surrendered and given ultimate power to rule over your life, change it, and bring you here today?

Do take some time to set a goal for yourself, see it in the horizon as a lighthouse and let it shine even in the darkest hour or torrential rain. We get caught up in so many things each day that we sometimes seem to navigate endlessly, gazing mesmerized at the many beautiful and bright stars, only to forget we were being guided. Your will fades, your strength dwindles, and then we consciously/unconsciously conform to the meager leftover of others…because it is easier in life not to struggle.

Well you don’t have to struggle. You can refocus today.
Instead of inviting someone to eat, go by yourself. Do not read a newspaper or magazine. Just sit for a brief moment, turn your cell phone off.
Write down on a piece of paper that new dream, the new goal. Think of it hardly enough, and better than that, believe it will happen, because this time you WILL make it happen.

Save that little piece of paper, and let it be your lighthouse. Nothing will deter you.
I am doing this right now, and I encourage you to do it with me.

Let us help each other achieve our goals.

Lesson learned: I will not be an unwilling obstacle, rather a willing facilitator to someone else’s growth.

Winner's circle...

2009-09-16T18:29:00.003-04:00

‘Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing’
-Vince Lombardi

After a long and arduous race ends someone gets the first place. That someone is clearly joyous.
If you participated, how do you feel if you were second? How about third? Last?
‘Participation is what matters’ are the most common words echoed by all those who weren’t first place.
Why do they say so?
They do because they are not the winners. Not only are they not ‘the winners’, but they are just proving themselves time and time again that they lack what it takes to be a winner.

How do you define ‘Win’? Think of it for a second: What does it mean to you when you hear the word ‘Win’?

To Win is defined as: to finish first in a race, contest or the like. That is what most of us think of when we hear the term.
However, it is also defined as: To succeed by great effort, to be successful, and to overcome the adversary.

Most times our main adversary is within us. It is that loser within that keeps us from becoming successful, and convinces us that ‘participating’ is what matters.
When you participate you just ‘take a part of/in’. It means you are just one more.

From now on: stop looking at other’s positions in the Race of Life to determine if you’re a winner, a participant or just a loser. Look at your own position, enjoy your journey while you take part on it, and win.

Open up your eyes and hearts to a new mentality, feel like a winner; be a winner, and BECOME A WINNER. It will move you one step closer to your ultimate happiness.

Lesson learned: There can be no losing in the road to happiness, for even those who pass away are not lost, for they are still within us.

Singled out...

2009-09-08T16:31:00.004-04:00

If love conquers all...then conquer yourself and rule the world!
-The Puppet Master

Isn’t it great to have someone else?

Think of waking up in the morning to see your loved one’s face as they sleep at peace. It gives us a sense of warmth, of love that is being the reflection of our own emotion.

Think of the beautiful smile of that other half, and how it has(and continues to) brightened your many days and the laughter many nights.

Think of that calming touch of that someone who has dispelled all fears with but a single caress.

Think of the watery eyes of our loved one when they gaze at our own unable to hide their hurting, and think of how you can’t help it but disarm yourself when you love that someone’s eyes.

Isn’t it great to have someone else?
Someone asked me today: How can you be single? There must be something very wrong with you…

To many, being alone is a dreadful nightmare.
Being alone is not, but can definitely be…

Why is being single so negative? Or better…why does it seem so?

As a human race, our goal in life is to be fruitful and reproduce, to be successful, and to be with someone. It is just because we are misdirected.
In that desperation we seek others that have their own ‘baggage’ of problems, and we seek to ‘love through helping others’ rather than ‘helping others though love’.

Our goal should be to love ourselves, to be happy with ourselves.
That will stop us from looking in someone else for that which we are lacking. We will truly be able to fall in love, and find that someone who instead of ‘completing us’ will ‘complement us’.

Lesson learned: Isn’t it great to have someone else? It certainly is, when that someone is worth it…

Remembering remembrance...

2009-07-16T12:27:00.004-04:00

To: Larry White

'The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.'
-Carl Jung (1875 - 1961)

Just nine days before my departure I have sat down to contemplate what a year this has been.
I have made plenty of enemies, haha, willing or not.
There has been so much drama, I could write a novel with all of it.
There has been sad moments...

But none of these are worthy to remember. These are placed down on a dark and musty chest, which is closed and sent to the bottom of the sea, its key left to rust on the seashore.

Now friendship, on the other hand, will mark us forever. In doing so, friendship makes each one of us a better person.

Think for just ten seconds of whose name comes to your mind when you hear the word 'friend'.
Now, think again whose name comes to mind when I say 'true friend'.
A true friend is a person we love, even if we love to hate them at times. That person who does not have to say much to mean much, and whose mere gaze strengthens us. What best to arrive at that friend's house and feel you're at home, and welcome.
And how great the feeling that your particular friend has your favorite dish prepared for you.
You know why? Because you are loved.
Let them know how much they mean to you, and how much you love them. You never know, they may need to hear it right at this moment.

Think now, would your name come to people's minds when they think of the word 'friend'? How about 'true friend'? If not, then you're doing something wrong...

Thank you, my dear friend Larry. If someone ever asked me what a true friend is I would just have to introduce them to you.

Lesson learned: The ornaments of my life are the friends I keep.

Asking why...

2009-07-14T18:32:00.005-04:00

'Everything has got a moral if you can only find it.'
-Lewis Carroll (1832 - 1898)

Why...
Three letters that are just so familiar.
That is the question we have learned to ask the most since our earliest childhood.
Its a simple word that holds so much power, for it can stop our personal growth on its track to leave us defenseless like lost children; in the wake of our realization that we lack wisdom we become weaker, conquered.

Why...
...does X happen to us?
Why...
...does Y have to die/leave?

It is not the question that matters but the answer, for unanswered questions just raise more questions and doubts to solve nothing. And yeah, trying to find an answer can seem like an ordeal in itself. Sometimes we must not seek the answer, but let the answer come to us.

Whenever you face an unexpected event ask yourself why, sure, but choose not to dwell on the questioning. Be patient, seek, explore, understand the answer once you got it, for then you will have peace instead of living in the stressed caused by the uncertainty of 'the why'. And even then, in the end, don't just conform yourself with the answer. Learn from it, grow, become stronger and wiser.

Lesson learned: Answers are like squirrels, sometimes all there is left is to wait...it may be eating its acorn right atop your head.

Dream on...

2009-07-06T13:37:00.004-04:00

'All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible'
-Thomas E. Lawrence

'It was just a dream' we hear say(when we are not saying it ourselves). With those simple words the magic of that moment is dispelled so that we, in the reality of our daily lives, can live on. We wake up, dress up, eat, and go to work/school, come home and go sleep...the next day it all happens again, and life becomes dull, and it all falls down to our looking forward to our vacations or retirement.

When, I ask you, did you stop dreaming? When did your thoughts of a bright future, of adventure, of loving, get replced by the boredom of your current daily life?
Some say you stop dreaming when you finally grow up...
Was Christopher Columbus a child, then, when he sought to conquer the seas to follow his dream? I believe he was not.
You stop dreaming when, for some reason, you start not thinking, but actively BELIEVING you have achieved all you can ever be, and then you become one more statue in the museum of our daily existence. A simple statue, just existing, just being there, to be seen.

You can surely remember every time you dreamed, or remembered a dream a feeling of joy permeated your soul. You basked in the light of that bright future that you saw for yourself.

Today, take a single minute to sit down, relax a minute, and dream...

Lesson learned: Dreams are the fountains of youth inside each one of us

Final graduation...

2009-06-16T22:20:00.004-04:00

Our ideals resemble the stars, which illuminate the night. No one will ever be able to touch them. But the men who, like sailors on the ocean, take them for guides, will undoubtedly reach their goal.
-Carl Schurz

As I stood on that podium ready to receive my diploma many wonderful moments came to mind, and with a deep breath I thought...one more step...

Can you recall the moment when you thought 'This is the climax of my career/life'?
If you can, when was that?

Let me tell you one thing: if your life has truly reached its climax then what awaits you is the cruel reality of your realization that you will not live a happy life. At least not until you realize each mountaintop is but the top of one of many mountains you will explore in life. It all depends on your desire to reach a new goal, to achieve something different every time.

Smile with each achievement, but to not let it cloud your mind to make you think you're at your best and that's all there is to it. Don't accept life just as it is, for life will definitely not accept you just as you are.

Strive, fight, grow, be the best you can be, rest, and once again...strive, fight, grow, to be the best that you can ever be.

Lesson learned: In order to make my life worthwhile I will do my best to graduate from life itself with honors.

Dying young...

2009-05-20T18:57:00.002-04:00

‘Dying seems less sad than having lived too little’
-Gloria Steinem

…and gasping for air while clutching the hands to the chest in a desperate attempt to catch a single breath, it all ceased to exist…it all vanished…it all left…

What is death other than the termination of all biological functions within a living organism? Is it more than a moment of deep sadness, when someone ceases to be with us, or when we cease to exist.
It is even more than that, for when you drown in your life’s daily struggles, when you are defeated by sadness and overcome by grief you die. So we die a thousand deaths in life.

We can live many years without realizing we’re living a life of death, a ridiculous cycle perpetuated by our enjoyment of the bliss of our ignorance.
Every time you give up, every time you replay the painful memories in your mind, each time you sink into depression you die…

And you will miss all there is to life, and you will cry one day when you realize life is ebbing away and we’re wasting out time ‘thinking’ we are living it to our best.

Breathe in every morning, breathe out. Smile, and remember tough times are just that, time. If they are time they will pass eventually. Unless you revel in those sad nights where you feel like your soul is gasping for air while clutching the hands to the chest in a desperate attempt to catch a single breath, as it all ceases to exist…all vanishes…all leaves…and you return to being nothing.

Unlike most choices we undertake every day there are no gray areas here. Would you well, live a life of death, or would you die having lived well?

Lesson learned: Problems are a problem of the past. Life is here, and I’m not letting it go.

Love shows…

2009-05-19T09:41:00.004-04:00

If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it's not enough.
-Ann Landers

Why do you not express love fully, without any regards to what people would/could say/think?

…

Answer yourself…why?

Many of you will answer: because I was never taught how…
Love is described as ‘any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection and attachment. Often a feeling stronger than liking.’

You weren’t taught to breathe, run, or smile. If you think carefully, you weren’t taught to be scared, horrified, or even to hate…and you gladly and easily show them many times…

Why then, is it so hard to show love? Philosophers and psychologists theorize we are/feel weak when we expose our ‘soft side’ by choosing to show love. We fear rejection, and therefore we don’t initiate the complex dance of showing affection.
Yet as children we showed affection and love with no regrets, without any difficulty.
It has been life's ridiculous job to fill us with fear so that we may abstain from showing affection. We, in turn, have been ridiculous enough to follow.
We can criticize others saying they ‘don’t show affection’ but do we do it ourselves? Don’t ask, don’t criticize; SHOW LOVE so that others may see it, feel it, and show it themselves.

There is not just one way to show love, but the hardest way is both, by letting go and by showing affection, specially with others as witnesses.

Just as you show your new car, house, clothes, or muscles, all vain and superficial, material things, show love with pride, and your entire life will change, and so will the life of those around you.

Lesson learned: If I want to learn to love, I should start by loving.

Old man...

2009-05-10T13:27:00.006-04:00

'First you are young; then you are middle-aged; then you are old; then you are wonderful.'
-Lady Diana Cooper

The crowing of a rooster transports me to the memory of that little wooden and tin house, across the dusty street from a humble tiny school in his beloved Guaypao. And there, in a little corner lying shirtless, with an old pair of pleated pants an old man dozed off while devouring each word of his treasured morning newspaper.
That old and ugly cockfighter who, much like newborn children was ugly just as he was beautiful.

We would wake up early mornings to the crowing of roosters who would give tribute to their master, father and idol; the same one who'd be followed by hens and chickens while he fed them saying: Pi, pi, pi, piiiii

That old black widow, who charmed women with his flirtatious personality would always make them smile. I never saw him get angry for more than a split second. He would always smile, and those few times when he wasn't, it was because he was thinking of a prank to play on one of his grandchildren.

Old grandpa 'Gil', a man who has been old since my earliest memories, and who always inspired respect and love, always giving them even if he would not get them in return.

Who would think that the same old man who rested upon that little corner had been poor, had worked cutting sugar cane, and had gathered some money with the sweat of his brow. He worked for his children, cared for grandchildren, buried a wife and he also buried a son.

What was he thinking in that little corner where only the breeze would caress him when no one was around? Was he recalling the moment when he met his beloved Salome? Or was he remembering his wedding, or the wedding of one of his daughters? Was he thinking of Tito, Pililo, Toly, or Ramfy in the Army as he silenty sobbed, thinking of how different his life would have been if he had lost just one of them.

No one knows, and no one will ever know...for all we know, Guaypao has lost a character; the roosters will continue to crow thanking God, despite the pair of old, pleated shorts that rest upon a bench alongside an old newspaper who has no one to read it; for no one rests in that little, forgotten corner at the balcony of the wooden and tin house across the dusty street from a humble school in his beloved Guaypao.

Now that old, ugly and beautiful cockfighter walks hand-in-hand with his wife and child, following his master, Father and idol who instead of 'pi, pi, pi, piii' says: 'No more pain, loneliness and suffering...Welcome home."

Lesson learned: Grandpa, I have always admired you more than you have admired me...

Mother's womb...

2009-05-09T08:41:00.005-04:00

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.
-Aristotle

A stomp in the ground, followed by 'MOM!!!' Can be heard on an ice cream booth where a small child protests against his mom's desicion.
We have been there so many times. Many more than we can remember. Yet, the memory of walking with that being who would hold us by the hand with love, even after she spanked us silly, or gave us 'the look' that terrified us(but would teach us discipline).

Funny, isn't it, that even if we get angry at her, or blame her for so many things, we can still feel calm when we reach that place where she is, or once was.
Hey, they are far from perfect. Like the best sculpt statue on the largest cathedral, however, they are perfect for us.

Even the most rebellious of children adopt traits of their own angels. And angels they are, I dare say, for how else can you describe a being who nurtures you, holds you close, and is so willing to endure pain, suffering, and even death for us.

After reaching adulthood we still avoid smoking, drinking, using foul language or God knows what because 'my mom is there'.
You may divorce your wife, husband, lover, but you can never divorce your mom. She will welcome you even after an absence of many years, because you are part of her.

You may be far away from her...
...physically,
...emotionally...
Love her, and show her, for one day she will not be here, and you will wish you did.

Lesson learned: If you want to rule the World, love the mothers, the rest will be history.

Present absence...

2009-05-04T19:40:00.004-04:00

'Well-timed silence has more eloquence than speech'
Martin Fraquhar Tupper

Those who know me, however, know I won't stay quiet for long...

And I offer no excuse for my long absence, for sometimes the best words are never spoken.
What is silence? Silence is defined as the absence of speech. It can be the result of a brief hesitation, stutters, time for self-correction or slowing down for clarification of a subject.

Some of us see silence as a time to study, listen, evaluate. It is the greatest time for deep introspection.
What a few of us achieve with yoga, meditation, religion or music others can do in complete silence.

Lesson learned: When we stop listening to ourselves we can better understand what goes around us, and understanding is key to achieving a better life and finding a better self.

Shedding light...

2008-10-14T16:56:00.002-04:00

‘You are the Light of the World. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.’
-Matthew 5:14
(To my friend Jason, shine brightly)

A room is busting with the laughter and murmurs of all those inside. Quiescence seems to reign when a particular person walks in and, without saying a word, seems to brighten the room more than the strongest of lights.

You have certainly been there, maybe as one of the already present, or maybe as the one who walks in.

What does that newcomer has that attract others like moths to a new source of light? No one knows for sure, and that’s one of the reasons why people often think they are ‘falling in love’ so quickly. This new person has something they seem to lack, and their ambition, being stronger than their self-esteem, will drive them towards the source.

Is that person truly so handsome? Is it charisma? Oftentimes it is just a sense of security, the security we lack. On many other occasions it is just the feeling of happiness or completeness that someone irradiates.

Since it is easier to try to get close enough to bring something to our life rather than work inside ourselves to achieve it we yearn, we fight, we obtain, and then we yearn for the ‘next best thing’.

Look inside yourself and find that light that attract others, or that can attract others. Learn yourself, and change what you must change to shine a brighter light into the world, not to be the object of everyone’s attention, but so that you can help others find the joy of being the best they can be too.

Now be wary, your own light may blind you, if you look at it from the wrong angle.

Lesson learned: Shine your light as bright as possible, but beware of moths, for they flock around, they blind, and with their dying breaths and burning wings they dim you.

Becoming someone...

2008-08-24T21:22:00.003-04:00

The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.
-Anna Quindlen

Have you ever watched a person from a Third World country work your lawn, paint your house, cook for you, or clean your dirt?

Have you ever helped them when they work your backyard? I’m not saying ‘have you supervised them’ or ‘have you given them instructions’. What I’m saying is, have you knelt on the ground and shared the same tools, sweat under the same sun, and drink the same warm water on a similar dirty plastic cup?

Probably not…

And if I ask you ‘why’, you would probably think or say ‘because I don’t have to’.

If so…then YOU HAVE TO.

Life, God, or perhaps destiny, has been gracious enough to you that you have lived a blessed life of comfort. You have been blessed enough that you probably haven’t had to leave your children, career, friends, family, and the land you grew up behind in order to clean the plates where someone else eats. Much worse, you haven’t left all that behind to have that someone look at you with disdain, or even treat you as if you were less.

You may have a rough time at work trying to get a raise or to grow in worth to your company, but at least you CHOSE to work where you do.

So if you ever feel another person needs some help to ‘become someone’ then pause your life for a moment, think again, and BECOME SOMEONE.

Lesson learned: The closer we walk at the bottom the closer we are to the top.

Express yourself...

2008-08-10T13:44:00.006-04:00

'...so you can respect yourself, hey hey'

-Madonna, lyrics for Express Yourself

How do you define expression?

According to the American Dictionary, expression is the act of conveying or representing in words (art, music or movement) a manifestation.

Musicians, actors, and other famous artisans are well known for their multiple expressions, and are seen or heard by the masses.

Now, what makes you so different from them? Are you free to express yourself fully?

It’s funny, that we live in a society where freedom of speech and expression us valued highly, yet we can rarely exercise that freedom.

Are we truly free, then?

Expression can also be defined as the outward manifestation of a mood or disposition.

When was the last time you expressed something, whatever that was, and felt a great weight lifted up of your shoulders? You finally felt free, even if just for a single, brief moment.

Remember that feeling? If you don’t, then you are surely holding yourself back, shielding yourself from the warm light of freedom.

Curiously, even mathematicians understood the value of expressions. They define expression as a statement that has a value.

It is not just a matter of communicating what you want to say, but to have it appreciated, considered, or even acknowledged by the recipient.

Are you being listened to? Are you being valued by others? More importantly, how much to you value yourself?

Lastly, expression has also been defined as the act of pressing or squeezing out.

You have surely felt like squeezing out the life of someone who is making life hard on you, oh, we all have felt that way once or twice in our lives.
What I want to convey is that you need to squeeze the last ounce of worry, of sentimentalism, of grudging, out of your system. You should use all your strength to break those chains that bound your freedom. Only then will you be free enough help those who cannot express themselves, be it due to politics, hardships, status, or low self-esteem.

After much struggling, you will see it was not too hard, for those chains have been set by yourself, and only you have the strength to break free.

Lesson learned: Whatever you leave trapped inside will become stagnant water. Express yourself and you will walk more freely.

Unequitably equal…

2008-07-31T17:08:00.003-04:00

‘She lives a life she didn't choose
And it hurts like brand-new shoes’

-Sade, in Pearls

What time of the day is it?

What has transpired since the moment you woke up after sleeping for…how long? Eight hours?

Did you have breakfast/lunch/dinner already?

Are you at work?

Then you are lucky…

Many out there sleep much less than you…

Many don’t have anything to eat…

Some can’t even hope to get a job…

…and we live under the same blue sky, our beautiful days lit by the bright sun that blesses us as it caresses our skin, and curses others with its scorching flames.

There are people out there in different countries that are so unfortunate they don’t even have our help. All they get from us is pity.

Well, for those of you who are blind, let me tell you one thing. You don’t have to cross the oceans to find people in misery.

Was that beggar in the corner truly a drug addict? Has he/she always been one? What if she was someone like YOU in the past?

Extend your hand to help another.

Lesson learned: Don’t think good things, DO good deeds.

Moving out...

2008-07-16T10:18:00.003-04:00

'There's no greater treasure than the memories we hold dear'

-The Puppet Master

I remember lifting that last box which, though smaller than the ones before, carried all the weight of that ending chapter in my life. Quietly I stood at the doorway and looked all around the room that had once been my place, the echoes of precious memories bringing it back to life in an instant.

From laughter to sobs, prayers, comments, jokes, arguments, and even silence lingered still inside that now empty place. I could only look out the window to the distant downtown and wipe away the mist in my eyes. Moving out can be harder than moving in.

My departure serves a double purpose, it would open the way to my newer and brighter future, and will help me analize my recent past, appreciate it and treasure it deep in my heart.

It is not just what we do in our lives but what we remember of it that makes it truly valuable.

The neverending pages of the book of my life shall contain a section of this chapter to each powerful event that has shaped me forever:

Land of the Fountain of Youth

Tasha's coffee

The Three Musketeers

You Jew

The Tiger with Sapphire Eyes

The Puppet's Tears

Holiest Cross

Chu Chu's Train

Reign of the Empanadas

Marco Polo

Smile Again

Volley Ballers

I will continue to grow, I will continue to remember, and I will continue on the journey I have embarked with you all in my heart, my friends...

Lesson learned: Moving out can be harder than moving in...but even so, we must move on

Train stop…

2008-07-02T14:56:00.002-04:00

(to Aramis, for stopping me from publishing Spy game…)

‘How can you stop a train with but a thought?’
-The Puppet Master

All the energy I was accumulating inside was eating me like the most powerful acid would eat a piece of paper. It would have ultimately blown me to bits.

It was a time of glory in battle.
It was a time of vengeance and retribution.
It was a time of confrontation, of cleaving a heart until you would hear ‘I surrender’
It was a time to finish it all…

What would have followed would be a time where the vultures and crows would have feasted on the corpses of those two armies which had originally been the staunchest of allies.

…and I would not let that happen.

For in a time of vengeance the best thing to do is to stay still, and let the winds of wisdom blow away your pain, your anger… In those times just quiescence itself will bring peace.
‘He who listens and studies his opponent’s attacks will always be victorious.’

Now, this is not about being victorious over those who have attacked you, rather being victorious over your own weakness, your own faltering, and your own misjudgment.

Do not judge another. Do not destroy that which has cost so much to build with but a single thought, insult, or word. You know…or you think you know the present, but you do not know someone’s past, and you certainly cannot read someone’s thoughts.

Interpretation is an art, and a rather difficult art to practice. As with painting, we can all do it, but can we do it right?

Lesson learned: ‘With love, you can stop the train that would wreck your life forever’

Park walk...

2008-06-12T17:39:00.002-04:00

‘Not every day is a walk in the park’
-CN

I’m pretty sure all of you can relate to this in one way or another. No matter how optimistic you are (or try to be) there are some days that are just…not the best.

It’s funny, if you come to think of it. Count the number of people you know who engage is various activities to try and keep an air of optimism in their lives. Some go to the theater, some play sports, others travel, and some even read books (very many books) in search of that spark that will light their souls and keep it that way for the longest time.

Well, got news for you, although those things might help you feel as your life is like a walk in the park they won’t make it a walk in the park. What do people mean when they say life can be or not a walk in the park? There are many things to do, and many things to see. While walking in the park you will find playgrounds, children with their mascots, you find your friends there, romantic couples, trees, nature beauty…but you will also find the occasional bum, a thief, a dog leaving a little ‘surprise’ behind, and sometimes even trash in the ground…
Anyways, in our search for optimism and ultimate happiness we want our walk in the park to be the best experience ever, and we long for it.

So, what can you do to live that way? Well, in order to live like you’re walking in the park you have to just do that, you have to LIVE THAT WAY.

Lesson learn: No matter what, I will always live walking in my park

Peace pieces…

2008-05-30T09:00:00.001-04:00

‘Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God’
-Matthew 5:9

Most of us want to live ‘in peace’. Isn’t it ironic that even military personnel prefer peaceful times? And what is ‘peace’?

Peace is defined as ‘an absence of hostility, a nonviolent way of living’. It includes lack of agitation or disturbance. It can also be described as a relationship between people involving mutual respect, justice and goodwill. Peace leads to calmness, serenity and sometimes even silence.

Ask any single person what they want to do when they retire. They will all answer, in one way or another, ‘be at peace’.

Like love, peace is sought by the masses. It is more desired than gold and more precious than a perfect diamond. It’s curious that sometimes we fight or argue in order to achieve peace.

And why is this so? Because we want to be strong, we want to ‘appear’ strong. In the end, it’s all about appearances, some may think.
Let me tell you, you are the weakest when you want to LOOK strong. By the same token you are strong when you decide TO BE strong. We must learn to yield. When you yield you are not weaker, you are being wiser.

The main reason why we are unable to achieve peace with others is because we are not at peace with ourselves. That alone is reflected when we sometimes feel a little jealous when seeing someone with a peaceful aura entering a room. People gather around the peacemakers like flies. They all want what that person has, even when they themselves don’t know what that is.

Do you want peace? Then start by living in peace.

Lesson learned: There are no enemies; there are people who think different.

Ironic contradictions...

2008-05-22T17:05:00.006-04:00

(to my friend Tean-Su)

Along the winding road
Comes smiling
The eastern western
The western eastern
The small giant
Of contradictions

With spirit like hyena
The rowdy laughter
Of a drunken man
Or a happy one
Enriching aura
To saddened souls

But all I know
Is you brought me
A reason to smile
Despite your sadness

So here I am
My loyal friend
I owe so much
You can’t imagine

Now take my hand
I'll walk with you
For you have helped
Without request

My sentient sun
Oh friendly clown
Eastern western
Little giant
Of the western east
Of contradictions

Iron man…

2008-05-15T12:16:00.002-04:00

‘Stand strong, stand firm, and nothing will sway you’
-Some idiot

We remember those words of our fathers, or forefathers saying ‘be strong, be firm, and you will reach your goal in the end’. When you stand firm you are like a lighthouse in a stormy shore, a monument to persistence.
Now that sets me to think. Is this the best way to progress in life? Is this the road to becoming a better person? I honestly think it certainly isn’t.
A lighthouse, thought bright, sits alone amidst the storms and beating of the waves. It can do nothing but stay there, in waiting, until its foundation falls from underneath it by the power of change. It will then be nothing but a memory of distant past.

Whereas it’s good to be firm in your convictions, it’s best to be smart, to study, to read situations carefully and adapt.
Adaptation is defined as the changes in an individual organism over the course of its existence that makes it more suited to the environment. Adaptation does then help one survive.
Not only that, adaptation does let you not just go by in life, it helps you enjoy it with minimal struggle. Difficulties we have, hardships we live through, but we shouldn’t struggle, we should live and enjoy our life with its ups and downs.
Athletes train hard, day by day, and they certainly become strong enough to reach their desired goal. In order to become stronger, however, they need to adapt. They modify their programs so that they may be able to perform better.

Many people say ‘this is the way I am, and whoever doesn’t like it, can **** himself’.

Sad, isn’t it, that with so many advances today, with so much to see and experience in the World there are those who still want to be Iron Men; these unwavering, unflinching, unyielding “strong” people who can withstand any and all things.

Lesson learned: Every Iron Man, in time, gets rusty

Twin blue...

2008-05-07T09:49:00.006-04:00

(to Casey)

Once again they appear
Before me
Seeking understanding
Awakening from deep slumber
Hypnotizing dance
Of identical twins
Mesmerizing those who fall
Under their spell

They glare
They study
And hide high
Up in the sky
Their camouflage
Blue as a shallow sea
The irony of glacier blue
Kindling my flame

Even the sun’s
Attempt in vain
To bar the door
And close the entrance
So my soul can be saved
From that trap
That twin bluebirds
So stealthily placed

Silent hunters searching
They find me
And drain my strength
So in my weakness
I become
A victim
A statue
Under medusa’s reign

No mercy shown
I am devoured
I am aflame
I am sacrifice
I am full
And captivated
By the blue Danube
Of your eyes

Silence speaks...

2008-04-24T15:10:00.001-04:00

‘If you really knew yourself you’d never feel alone’
-The Puppet Master

Try to recall the last time you sat alone in quiescence…

Was there ever a time where you left the noises of daily life behind to immerse yourself in deep thought? You probably can’t even remember.

Why…
Do we turn the tv on while we’re cooking on our own?
Do we listen to the radio when we’re in the shower?
Do we yearn for a partner, or roommate, or friend to come by?
Or oftentimes we go out of our homes to see more people?
We have come to fear being alone.

Why do we fear being by ourselves? Maybe because we are afraid of what our conscience will reveal to us about ourselves.
Or probably because we confuse loneliness with solitude…

Loneliness is the emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of isolation and emptiness. It involves a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from others.

Now, solitude is a state of seclusion or isolation that may stem from deliberate choice. Short term solitude can often be valued as a time where one may work, think or rest without being disturbed. It may be desired for the sake of privacy.

Take some time to be with yourself, to learn yourself and love yourself. Do not read, do not sing, just be…
Sit in front of the beach, gaze into the horizon, and let your mind wander. Try not to force yourself to think of something, do not even force your mind to go blank as in ‘meditation’. Do not act like someone, do not act like something else, just be…

By being yourself, and knowing yourself you will be able to change what you must change to do what you must do.

And you will grow, in silence…

Lesson learned: Do not fear your own consciousness, for doing so you’ll fear yourself and thus, you will never be at peace.

Boomerang effect…

2008-04-09T11:38:00.005-04:00

'Give...and you shall receive'

-Anonymous

How do you define giving?

A gift is the transferring of something without the need for compensation. It is a voluntary act requiring nothing in return. Even when, socially, it involves expectation or reciprocity, be it in the form of prestige or power, a gift is meant to be free.

Voluntary…what is it? It means of our own, free will.

What have you given to the world? What have you given to others? To life?
Selfishly (or many thereof) you may have lived for yourself, for self-gratification, in order to ‘enjoy life to its fullest’. In other words, you may have been but an immature child.

In some Asian countries giving has become a form of art. Just the act itself, the unselfishness involved, and the sacrifice made has even become a fundamental part of Buddhism.

It is curious, that even when we recognize we should give expecting nothing in return, our very human nature sets us to think of how we will directly or indirectly benefit from the act.

There are those who think that somehow the universe is connected, and the energy you spend (or send) you will receive back. Is it really so? Who knows, and discussing these beliefs goes beyond the scope of this blog, at least for now.

Some others believe that you give, and you perform acts of good, and you won’t necessarily get something good back.

Why would we complicate our lives thinking about such things? Why will we trouble ourselves with such trivialities?

Give…
Give your knowledge…
Give yourself…
And only expect back the gratification that you are doing the best you can for others. Just realizing that you had the power to hold something back, yet you decided to become part of all that is good, and that your contribution helped make a good thing will be the best reward you get.

Lesson learned: ‘A boomerang rewards you by not returning when it hits the desired prey. If it returns it accomplished nothing, it may be aiming for your head.’

Inactivating inaction...

2008-03-31T14:59:00.001-04:00

‘If we would each contribute a small grain of sand we would make a beautiful beach for the enjoyment of all’
-The Puppet Master

Save the whales!
Save the trees!
Save the wolves…the ozone layer…the rivers…the hippos…the bald eagles…the polar bears…

We’re so eager to save the World…yet we destroy it every day with our ignorance, with our indifference.

How much time have you spent in the last month reading articles about the Greenhouse Effect, about the contamination and endangered species? How much time have you dedicated to be sitting in front of the television, watching the news or documentaries on the planet’s current situation?

It is important to educate the self, you may say. I, for one, am not going to argue that.
What I do have to ask you is this ‘HOW MUCH TIME HAVE YOU SPENT ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT?’

Easy, it is, to just sit down behind a desk sending ‘some help’ (in the best of scenarios) to those braver than us, those with the willingness to act.

Remove that crown adorning your head, intensifying the illusion of that fantasy world where everything revolves around you. Grab your sword and be a knight that fights for all of us, and let’s walk side by side, for the betterment of all.

Lesson learned: Caring is not enough, in itself, at least. Action is what gets things done.

Spiritual autobiography...

2008-03-24T14:56:00.004-04:00

‘Our lives are open books waiting for an avid reader to digest and interpret its words’
The Puppet Master

What is your favorite movie? Is it an epic film? Is it fantasy, romance, or horror? Whatever the type, you surely remember the events that took place in it and, more importantly, you remember the characters that caused them.

You surely don’t remember the type of trees or the direction the wind was blowing when the queen of the elves rejected the One Ring at the Lord of the Rings movie. You do remember, however, when Frodo was standing before her, and you surely remember the inner struggle she felt and how she almost failed, but didn’t.

You don’t remember, I’m sure, how many people Chucky killed in the first 3 movies (if you do you might need professional help). You do remember, however, who Chucky was, and you remember the child he was after, and perhaps the child’s mother.

And I’m sure you don’t remember which way Nettie went when she was kicked away from Albert and Celie’s home, in The Color Purple, but you do remember Nettie, Shug, and Sofia, and what each one of them represented.

Now, what does each one of your friends represent in your life?
Think of your enemies, opponents, nemesis, however you want to call them, and what does each one of them represent to you. How has each one of these people shaped your life? Think also how have YOU SHAPED YOUR LIFE in response to what these people have represented in your eyes?

Take a minute to think of these, and analyze your life as if it was your favorite film.

…

Think of how you see yourself, how you would describe yourself before continuing.

Think…

Now, think of what role have you played in other’s people’s lives, and how you have helped shape and mold the way they see the world. Who have you been, and what have you represented?

Have you been the loyal sidekick always ready to lend your aid? Have you been the stalwart guardian watching someone's back? How about a benevolent scholar always giving the advice needed, or the wise mentor teaching the ropes? Have you portrayed a fickle dancer, a clumsy bufoon or a charming entertainer? Have you been the street whore, the evil queen, the hated witch, or the murderous assassin of the heart? Maybe you have been just an insignificant passerby like many others, part of a huge crowd of forgotten faces...

Are you, or have you been who you think you should’ve been?

Think now of the role you want to play in the lives of others…and start doing it today!

Lesson learned: Focus on what I want to be to others rather than what I want others to be to me.

Hurt less...

2008-03-22T15:51:00.005-04:00

'It really doesn't matter if the person who hurt you deserves to be forgiven. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. You have things to do and you want to move on.'

-Real Live Preacher

The memory is still fresh, like the scent of your favorite perfume, of that one moment when he/she hurt you. That moment when those words were pronounced, and like a poisoned dagger cleaving the chest of its victim, you were in deep pain.

It is hard to ignore, as much as we try, for a wounded leg will make you limp even if you stop paying attention to it.

What exactly happened that made you feel so? What hurt you? I have to say no one hurt you but yourself, for it is your view of things that has made you feel this way.

So, open up your eyes and your mind, and try to see more of that particular event than the stuff you have chosen (consciously or unconsciously) to remember. Things will seem so different then.

Did you feel unimportant? Why so, what made you feel that way? Were you ignored, or did you just feel you were ignored because you wanted all attention to yourself?

Were you laughed at, or did people try to laugh WITH you, but you took it the wrong way?

Whatever happened, there’s always at the very least two sides to a coin, so will you choose to dwell in the gloom of defeat or bask in the light of forgiveness and reconciliation?

Forgive. It is a learning process and it takes all of our lives to become really proficient. That way your wound will start to heal, and your burden will become less cumbersome.

Lesson learned: Ignoring your wound will only help spread the infection. Deal with it, heal it and continue your journey to maturity.

Pursuing happiness...

2008-03-10T10:29:00.002-04:00

‘Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life.’
-Burton Hills

Funny, isn’t it, that we spend most of our entire lives in the pursuit of that elusive thing we call happiness? And yet, somehow, it always seems to be able to avoid us.

Could you say you are one of those hard-working people, one of those dreamers who strive against all odds daily to achieve the happiness we all want? Could you truly say that you are one of those?

Then you are a fool.

Why do we have to think of happiness as something that ought to be pursued? Is there a need to go out hunting for it, to climb a cliff or cross a river to attain it? Do we have to fight for it? Reach into harm's way to get it? It seems that way, for we make it seem that way.

Close your eyes right now, just for a single minute. Breathe in, relax, breathe out…

Relax…

Now, after opening up your eyes and forgetting about all around you just think. What do you possess, or what around you makes you happy. You have been perhaps ‘too busy’ to see that just the flowers growing in your garden, that seeing your dog wagging its tail this morning, and that seeing a little sunlight of the few rays that escaped through the dense clouds in the sky can make you feel happy.

Perhaps watching your partner sleeping and cuddling in between the sheets like an innocent child, watching a cartoon, or reading a book have made you feel happy too.

Maybe even arriving on time to work, seeing a co-worker smiling, or just plain, good health can make you feel happy.

Live this very moment! Think of the things in your life that you should be happy about, and don’t be ungrateful with yourself.

Lesson learned: Finding joy in everything you do will make you richer, and happier than all the riches in the world.

One year…

2008-03-03T11:23:00.004-05:00

"True friendship, unlike love, always lasts forever."

-Anonymous

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."

-Anonymous

Time seems to pass by so slowly when you’re suffering…
Yet it does so fast when we’re enjoying life!

This last year has been a year of much introspection, of getting to know myself better, and to see things differently. It’s been a year of becoming stronger after healing wounds that have been inflicted by others, and by me.

After careful evaluation of the events that have transpired I can surely say I have been a traveler, a journeyman who has traversed from the deep valleys of love, to the uncertain waters of betrayal. I’ve crossed the jungles of despair, the deserts of solitude and have lost myself in the dense woods of uncertainty. I have survived a relationship conceived in hell, almost sunk myself in the swamps of emotional blunting.
In the end, and thanks to you my friends, I have been rescued and brought to walk again along the plains of eternal and unconditional friendship.

Thank you all for being there for me,

Thank you Marielys, for filling my life with laughter…
Gladys, for honesty like I’ve never seen before…
Jaime, for trying to understand me…
Ivonne, for always saying ‘yes’…
Ada, for humbly being the victim of my jokes…
Limaries, for all the memories…
Toby(my dog), for love unconditional…
‘Carlos(Javier, Johan and Eric)’, for joining the ride of my life…
Luis Daniel, for being the sweetest guy alive…
Pablillo, for putting up with my failures…
Danny, for all the help…
Nietzsche, for keeping me on my toes…
Idamis, for watching my back when I went blind…
Eva, for reminding me that miracles happen when you believe…
Humberto, for seeing the best of me…
Alkelis, for friendship that transcends time and distance…
Brian(Athos), for being more than a brother…
Jorge(Aramis), your faith gives me strength…
Frankie(D’Artanian), for music that moves my heart…
Whitten, for being the perfect nemesis…
Justin, for being fair and just…
Roberto Victor, for being the best of friends…
Armando, for all the joy…
Cynthia, for being my stalwart defender…
Jometh, for a song that touched me…
Laudy(Junito), for inspiring so much in me…
Miguel, for being honest when I needed it…
Angel & Emil, for all the good times…
Rafa, for being a true friend…
Danilo, for accepting me as I am…
Amarilis, for being as crazy as you are…

Thank you all for responding to my summons. And thanks for making my life one worthy of writing a book, one in which each one of you would deserve a chapter.

You have helped me throughout my life, and you have helped me be who I am today.

I am The Wolf,
the Puppet Master,
the Game Freak,
but, most importantly, I am...
…Your Friend

Lesson learned: "If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them"

Perfect harmony...

2008-02-25T10:13:00.002-05:00

My eyes have seen the glory
Of a pure song unsung
The one produced by a singer
And the musician’s heart in love

A voice so clear it shakes your soul
It sings inside and echoes
It draws a smile and soothes you
With all its charm it beckons

The air you filled with perfect blend
Vibrating strings and fragrance
The songs you played will never end
Inside my heart’s ambiance

Departing seemed a cursing
Threatening that one song’s spell
But I see it just a blessing
We will survive and it’ll all be well

For…

My eyes have seen the glory
Of a pure song unsung
The one produced by a singer
And the musician’s heart in love

Friends forever...

2008-02-25T09:30:00.004-05:00

‘Take that, Puppet Master, muhuhahahaha!!’
-Brian, one of many times

As we rode into the darkness of the long road back home, like the four musketeers in a single black horse, time would seem to pass us by, smiling. The wind, the lights, the heavens, nature in all its glory seemed to stay content with just being witness to the event that was unfolding. It was as close to Nirvana as anyone could say. It was friendship in its purest of forms…and it was perfect.

Think of the one moment when you had the greatest of fun with those close to you…

Think of that one day, one hour, or even one minute when you laughed, smiled and even cried out of joy forgetting all the worries and problems you had been facing daily. It is one treasure we all have had, and somehow it slipped through our fingers and fell once again into the ocean of memories we float on.

The waves have abated it. The salt may have eroded these great times we lived in, but only because we believe so.

Open your eyes to a new future. Look at how clear the water underneath your feet is. You’re drowning only because you have chosen to lie down and surrender in what can be just a shallow pool of crystal clear water.

Seek inside, however deep, for those memories of old. See for yourself that the little treasure you forgot about once is still shinning, and feel the joy of those good times revive your dormant soul.

Lesson learned: Become the greatest pirate of all and dig for all the treasures you have, and may have just forgotten or ignored. Even better, be the greatest buccaneer and hunt for even more, filling your life with the joy true friendship and love can bring.

Passion's fruit...

2008-02-12T13:17:00.000-05:00

Spoil me with the flavor of your lips
Bewitch me with their gentle touch
And I will traverse the deepest valleys
Of your body with my own

Captivate the beast inside of me
With the mesmerizing eyes of yours
And my own eyes will pierce your veil
To plant a seed and make you mine

Let your fragrance invade my pores
And fill me all whenever I breathe
So I will choose to continue living
And thus keep you inside of me

So mix your steam and passion

To hold me closer every second
And feel my burning pleasure
Warm your hearth forevermore

Life’s drinks…

2008-02-11T12:01:00.000-05:00

‘There’s only 1, 284 simple steps to be taken to achieve happiness, now for step 3…’
-The Puppet Master

Stop whatever you’re doing for a second, just for a split second. Now think, and answer truthfully. If you were to represent your life with a drink, what would it be?

Could you say life is like fine red wine, well aged and with a great capacity to bring up the flavor in the reddest of meats?

Would you otherwise say it is dry sherry used just for cooking, an empty shell of who you once where?

Is your life sweet and powerful like Orgasms?

Are you like the strongest Vodka, leaving people breathless as they imbibe you?

Some may feel like sex-on-the-beach, fruity, colorful and enjoyably sweet.

Yet some other’s lives are as varied as all the Sangria in the world.

Can you say you resemble Eggnog, seen only on special occasions?

I know a few who can probably feel like Tequila, they make other’s go through a carefully planned ordeal before drinking the substance.

Is your life as vibrant as an energy drink? Is it watered down like american coffee? Does it, like green tea, make everyone else go to the bathroom?

Can you otherwise say your life is as salty as Gatorade, as ‘bubbly’ as Hydrogen Peroxide or as flat as an old Coke?

Is it water, clear and pure served with ice on a crystal cup?

Analyze this, funny as it may seem and write it down. You have just found a perhaps somewhat humorous way to evaluate your life as it is. Now, think of which drink would you want your life to be comparable to and strive towards that one goal. Let it be your belated New Year’s resolution.

Lesson learned: I will learn to enjoy every facet of my life, and better myself in the process…CHEERS!

My Valentine…

2008-02-07T16:55:00.000-05:00

‘There is no greater feeling than feeling loved’
-The Puppet Master

What are you going to do for St Valentine’s?

Will you have dinner with your partner? Are you sending flowers to someone that has been ‘rocking your world’? Have you thought about chocolates to him/her? Staying at a hotel? Are you traveling to meet somebody?

Now, what have you planned to do just for yourself on St Valentine’s?
GOTCHA!

You probably haven’t thought of anything because once again you’re waiting for someone to love you and show it instead of loving yourself first.
Get a postcard and write what you honestly think you deserve to hear about yourself. Write about those good things in you that attract other people. Seal that envelope and wait for St Valentine’s to open it. You surely will have forgotten exactly what you wrote, for you wrote it exactly when you wanted to make yourself feel loved and, sadly, we don’t feel loved all the time. Accompany it with your favorite flower, with your favorite chocolate and ask yourself ‘Would I be my Valentine’?

Only then you will truly appreciate what others do for you on that very special day, for you have already given yourself a 'pat in the back’.

With that said, I have to say something to those of you who are my friends.

'I have made it here with all your help, in one way or another. To those of you who have smiled at me. To those who have lent a helping hand, to all those who lend their ears to me...to all those who cry with me. To all those who have seen me through the worst year of my life, living with the devil himself and making it safe, ready for a new year unfolding its blessings like a flower of myriad colors...

To all of you, will you be my Valentine?'

Thanks for all the love

-The Puppet Master

Lesson learned: There is no greater feeling than feeling loved…and loved by yourself…just as you are.

Te regalo...

2008-01-30T18:34:00.001-05:00

Y casi me vuelvo loco

Pensando en que darte

Para poder probarte

Lo que estoy sintiendo

Regalarte la luna

Con gusto lo haría

Y de soledad

El sol lloraría

Pondría los mares

Frente a tus dos pies

Los peces y corales

Traería después

Adornaría tu almohada

Con aves más de una

Que susurrarían en tu sueño

La mejor canción de cuna

Peinaría tu cabello

Con la brisa del viento

Y acariciaría tus labios

Con mi mismo aliento

Y te daría el espacio

Si de todo fuese dueño

Aunque para tí aún eso

Sería muy pequeño

Por tanto te dedico

Lo único que tengo

Mi alma y corazón

Y mi pensamiento

Y casi me vuelvo loco

Pensando en que darte

Para poder probarte

Lo que estoy sintiendo

Sin todo...

2008-01-28T19:40:00.000-05:00

Un día más sin algarabía

Con mis sueños vacíos

En mi cielo sin nubes

Sobre un mar sin peces

Un segundo sin tiempo

En las playas sin palmas

Como ríos sin cauce

O animales sin cría

Cual bebés sin aliento

Viene viento sin fuerza

Cazador sin presa

Un león sin rugido

Discurso sin oído

Canción sin letra

O represa sin agua

Lucha sin enemigo

Actor sin fama

Fuego sin llama

Sangre sin herida

O la muerte sin vida

Así sin sentido

Con nada y sin todo

Cual mi isla sin coquí

Son mis días sin tí

Assistance needed...

2008-01-22T15:05:00.000-05:00

'When the going gets tough...some people run like crazy chickens'

-The Puppet Master

Do you know a person who you feel is running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong towards their own doom? Have you been able to picture a very probable future where that someone has ended up colliding against a wall that is most immovable, only to end up bleeding, crying, if still alive at all? If you have, you surely have felt pity, sadness.

Have you done anything about it?

Knowledge of the outcome is not enough. Being able to point a finger and recognize the problem isn’t either. They are part of the solution, sure. The true solution lies in our lending a hand, not in our pointing a finger at the victim sinking in their own inner maelstrom, for that is more the job of modern religious figures.

By lending a hand I don’t mean ‘get so involved that you’ll be immersed in the problem’. I don’t mean ‘solve their problem’ either. Each to its own, each person must learn from their own hardships. Each one should grow like a cactus, through the desert on its own little piece of dirt.

Even though it is not your job, you sometimes will still go out of your own way to extend some help to a doomed character in the film you’re currently living through.
You will many times lend a hand to someone in need who will not only ignore it, but maybe even scorn it, or even bite it. I know that as a fact, I lived through it myself.
You know what you have to do then?

Guess what!

Nothing…

Lesson’s learned: Don’t get in someone else’s shoes, walk with them, and let them go the way they choose.

Celebrating celebrities...

2008-01-16T15:25:00.000-05:00

‘Elvis has left the building!’
-Unknown

Do you have a picture of yourself with a celebrity? If so, where is that picture? Is it on a high place in your house for everyone to notice? Is it close to your bed?

Who’s your favorite celebrity? What’s his (or her) real name? What movies or songs can you name where your favorite celebrity was involved?

Can you see yourself running inside a mall (or at least rushing) just so that you can get a glimpse of that one celebrity you heard was buying there? Have you done it?

Why?

What is a celebrity but a person who is just recognized and followed by a bunch of people almost blindly?

What is a celebrity but someone who, by their own effort, fate, luck, or backstabbing of others has reached the floors where the spotlight of the world awaits for their entrance to the stage?

You never know when you’ll meet one of them, and when you do it is all a big event…

So, a piece of advice I give to you. Buy yourself a really good camera. The best you can, and get ready to photograph the greatest celebrity of all, yourself.

You have lived through a lot, enough for many movies and even sequels. Enough for books to be written, yet you have dedicated yourself to praise and recognize other people’s success. Just as true celebrities, perhaps you don’t see yourself as such. They run away from paparazzi, while you hide away from your own recognition.

In reality these so called ‘celebrities’ would run towards you to get pictures taken with you if they knew what you know about yourself. They would perhaps see more in you than you do, for that is exactly what we do with them.

Lesson learned: Smile, you are the best of actors in the best of films, My Life…all Oscars are yours!

Finders keepers...

2008-01-07T16:02:00.000-05:00

‘I remember when you asked me for a cigarette, then cast it to the ground and stomped on it. I remember you saying “it’s kidding, give me another one” and did the same thing again. I remember your reply to me when I asked you: man, I just care for you enough to want to keep you from smoking, even if it makes you angry. You were the only one who seemed to care about me back then, thank you’
-Xavi

Where is your best friend now? Where is the one who you dared call ‘best’ at one time? Where is that person whose very name, when mentioned, still brings you back memories that draw a smile on your face? That being whose name you will never forget, for it was a person you loved…

Is your friend close to you? Is he/she far? Is that person even alive? Have you abandoned ‘that special someone’ because ‘life is way too busy so we went our own ways’?
If so, I can’t help but wonder…if he was the best of friends, why would I repay him with just relegating that person to a second tier in the ladder of my existence?

A friendship is defined as ‘a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection. Friends will welcome each other’s company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism.’

Altruism by itself is the selfless concern for the welfare of another. Even Jesus Christ(is said to have) declared “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends”.

So, if this is said about friends, imagine what could be said about the BEST of friends.

If that someone’s love kept you going at one time, if that person’s smile gave you strength, or if the mere company of that person made you grow up, even when your own immaturity may have separated you in the past, that person ought to know. Maybe he’s going through hard times and we, in our own ‘being too busy’ have forgotten to repay the greatest favor of all: WE WERE LOVED.

Don’t be ungrateful, make all the phone calls you need to, check the internet, write a letter and find out about your friend (with the same eagerness as you would find out about that very special Christmas’ gift you badly wanted) and say, in addition to whatever you need to say: ‘Thanks for being there for me, and thanks for being part of me, I love you, my best of friends’

Lesson Learned: Friends are friends forever, despite all wrong.

Unexpected flowers...

2008-01-05T20:00:00.000-05:00

‘Light a candle in someone’s heart and you will illuminate the world’

-The Puppet Master

Coming back home from another day at volleyball I would laugh at the many jokes my friends and I told. As I stepped out of the elevator a most surprising event unfolded. A flower arrangement sat right in front of the doorway to my apartment. Pink, green, yellow and orange…if I’d only known anything about flowers!

My soul trembled in wonder, who could’ve sent flowers to me? Or, more than who could have, who would have? Whoever did has not only changed my day but also perhaps influenced the course of my life’s river.

Why would a single flower cause an earthquake of emotions that would shake the very foundations of our existence? Why would colorful petals mesmerize me like the best poem ever written would do to a poet?

Know that it is not just the action itself, but the fact that it was performed by a stranger that gives it strength. It would be easily expected to receive anything on a holiday, but just on a simple, regular day?

If you want to change the World, if you truly want to leave a mark behind for your children and their own children to see you don’t have to write a book, sculpt a masterpiece or paint marvelously well. You can just give a flower to a stranger or if you’re too shy, just leave it dedicated to a total stranger and perhaps they will do the same.

Lesson learned: Don’t underestimate your power to change the course of history with but a single, simple action.

Media luna...

2007-12-31T11:33:00.000-05:00

Y se detuvo el tiempo
Y se detuvo mi alma
Y aún el palpitar agitado interno
Ante el reflejo de esos ojos
Que me inundaron de memorias
Y decidí ahogarme un segundo
Muriendo preso del embrujo
De tu sonrisa traviesa
Las estrellas
La laguna
La voz
La media luna
Fue testigo del regreso
Fue espía del suceso
Del evento
De un mismo aliento
Del cálido contacto
De tu abrazo tímido
Que desapareció
Ante la fuerza del deseo
Y mecidos bajo el viento
Entre la inmensa oscuridad
Y la mirada de Marte
Y bendición de Orión
Desaparecieron cual fantasmas
Las inhibiciones
Del pasado incierto

Del misterio temido

Vencido por atrevimiento
Dejando todo a un lado
Ante la orquesta de grillos
De coquíes y del viento
Bajo la media luna
Y su mitad escondida
Juntamos por primera vez
Los cálidos labios
Para darme vida
Para quedar encantado
Y grabé tu risa
Dibujé tu mirada
Para llevarme la memoria
Del eco del momento
Y se detuvo el tiempo
Y se detuvo mi alma
Y aún el palpitar agitado interno
Ante el reflejo de tus ojos

Everlasting peace...

2007-12-29T11:36:00.000-05:00

“Tread lightly with the gift of another’s heart … treat it with the utmost care, for there is nothing in this world more precious and fragile”
-Whitten Hall

Get a blank piece of paper and a pen.

Who is the person that means the most to you right now? Write the name down.
At least, what is the first name that comes to your mind?

Think about what you would say to that person today, right now, if you somehow knew that person would pass away tonight. Express yourself fully.

When those close to us pass away some part of us dies with them. A silent void gapes open inside our very hearts and minds, and our days feel as passing slowly. Pain rears its ugly head and crushes us with its unmerciful grip as we fade into the unconsciousness and darkness of oblivion.

Our brain moves back in time from the warm summer we live in to the spring we lived through and created together. Memories bloom like flowers and color our existence. We laughed together at silly things, cried watching a stupid film, argued about things that don’t really matter, painted a house, drove to the theatre, baked a cake, bought gifts, fed the cat…we did it all, and yet we didn’t do enough, for it is never enough when you love someone.

Destiny’s cruel hand, in the flicker of a candle light transports some of us to the cold winter that separated us. The darkest recesses of that deep dungeon in that same so-capable-of-loving heart release the monsters of our putrid past like creatures in a gladiatorial arena. We fight to remember the good things, versus the bad.

The real danger comes when fall arrives, for even though the landscape seems so beautiful everything is dying around us and we may get caught, and trapped, in this deathly illusion. And so we are filled with quiescence, solitude, emptiness, sadness, depression…

Those who pass away cannot express themselves anymore. One way or another they have already left their mark. Time passes by, and we carry the legacy of that someone engraved in our beings. How will we live from now on that they’re missing?
Much like our friends around the corner and those who moved to different places they are not missing, they are missed…but still there.

Know that, for one thing, they are at peace. So don’t drown yourself in an ocean of memories that’s quiet, that’s so calm…

Lesson learned: It is up to us to choose the season we will live in. It will not change their past, but it will change our future.

Who rules...

2007-12-16T21:13:00.001-05:00

'He who reigns within himself and rules his passions, desires, and fears is more than a king.'

-John Milton(1608-1674)

Have you wondered why you don’t succeed at a particular endeavor? Have you ever felt as if after all the hardships and struggling to find your way you end up at the shore of a stormy sea and there’s nothing you can do about it?

If you have felt that way, if you have lost all hope let me tell you one thing: you are just focusing on the wrong obstacle. We as humans can overcome anything, with the right tools, and with our mind set to it.

David(in the Bible) defeated Goliath, the giant, with a slingstone to his forehead. He was small, he was weak, but he was brave and strong-willed.

Now, we all have our giants, each to its own.

What is your giant? Is it drugs taking control over your life?

Is it alcohol not allowing you to be happy without it?

Is it risk behavior and the thrill of it being the only thing filling you?

Does your giant have a name?

Is it a sick partner?

Is it depression?

How many times have you said ‘this is the last time’ and failed? You are saying that to yourself, no one really cares.

Identify your giant, decide once and for all to use all your might and your sling to finish its curse in your life…or see your life waste away. It will be hard, I know. It will feel as if you lose your life when you lift this curse, but you will actually be regaining the reins of your own destiny.

You think you can take control of your life? If so, then too bad.

You shouldn’t think you can, you have to be sure. Doubt breeds inaction.

To all of you who are brave enough to evolve and become a better person I say ‘hail’, to all those who don’t I say ‘good luck’ for only luck will allow you be happy.

Lesson learned: Despite what anyone can say or think I AM TAKING control of my life.

Recognizing recognition…

2007-12-11T11:29:00.000-05:00

‘Man, I have never loved like this, it feels good to know you are in my life’
-Andrej(1974-1994)

‘Life has no boundaries. The only boundaries it has are the ones you create….’
-Wes Pine in Living a dream

Have you ever felt everything around you ceasing to exist as time stops? Your life feels like a movie where everything gets distorted except for the focus of your newly caught attention. The only thing you can see and hear is moving right in front of you and you can say 'recognition'.

And what is this recognition? I define it as the moment and event when the soul of a person recognizes another as a mate, as a friend, as someone that could be(and will be, in most cases) close enough to touch the vibrating essence of our hearts, close enough to play the strings of our harps and emit a new melody that will reverberate and echo throughout eternity.

It is not love, but the truest of lovers can feel it, their feelings potentiated and strengthened by this strangest of events.
It is not friendship, but could help develop the greatest friendships and alliances that could change the course of history someday.
It is not passion, but it could cause a conflagration that would dwarf passion’s own flame.

We come to envy children in movies who are closer than brothers, who laugh together, cry together and fall in innocent, true love with one another. I’m not talking love as in relationships. I’m referring to love in its purest of forms.

Some of us have never felt this in our lives. Some of us have and we can, despite the time, silence, distance, or death itself smile at the mere fleeting memory of that soul mate that still lives within us.

Don’t isolate yourself in the desert of your depression. There’s someone else out there somewhere who’s an oasis to your life.

Lesson learned: If you think the movie of your life may be almost over and you can already see the credits then search for the sequel.

Muda expresión...

2007-12-11T10:10:00.000-05:00

Y me sumergí un día más en el silencio
En el espacio sepulcral de mi casa vacía
La frialdad de las sábanas acarició mi rostro
Cual manos de espectros desesperados
Cuyo eco es solo la burla
De aquellos que me arrebataron lo mío
Porque nunca lo fue y nunca será
Solo crujen mis dientes
Melodioso alarido del dolor revivido
Fresca traición mi vino añejado
Que baña tu sangre
Tus palabras clavadas con garras de acero
Te amo
Y te odio
Me marcho
Y me quedo
Te busco
Y te dejo
Te cuido
Y te olvido
Fantasma embrujado que acecha mi alma
Maldito recuerdo de abrazo perdido
De la cálida estatua egoísta
Estabilidad inestable
Esclavo eterno de Baco
Siervo indudable de Ares
Seguidor incansable de Afrodita
Victima pronta de Hades
¡Largo de mi mente
Fuera de mi vida!
Busco el exorcismo más puro
Para arrancar la raíz de tu sembrada amargura
Asesino impío del sentimiento
Descanso tranquilo
Me vengará la vida
Y llorarás encerrado en tu cárcel
Solo, abandonado, y viejo
Cansado de la sobriedad de tu embriaguez
Tu calabozo castigo merecido
Y te amo
Y me marcho
Y te dejo
Y te olvido

Counter attack...

2007-12-06T10:30:00.000-05:00

‘The best way to defend yourself is to stop doing it’
-The Puppet Master

What happens when you leave a room where you just had an argument with someone else? You feel relief, maybe even content with your decision of leaving.

Why? Probably because you have felt the argument was started by that other person who probably had ‘something against’ you.

Analyze this…

Why do you feel people have something against you? We are sensitive to criticism when our self-esteem is so low we counter it by thinking we are just greater than anybody else, and being so important, we can’t help it but be attacked.

Victim, according to Narratology, is defined as ‘a character who is conquered or manipulated by a villain’. Who, then, is the villain that plagues our lives?
It is easier to pick one, to name one, or even to make up one, than to recognize the real villain sabotaging our beings is the one you can only see in a mirror.

We strike back, sometimes blindly, and we end up hurting others, or even ourselves in the process. Sometimes what we hurt is our image, and lose face, and the respect of others.

For once, when an argument arises, stop to think ‘I am not being attacked’ and just listen to whatever the other person has to say. Maybe they’re right, maybe they’re not, but just to let someone ventilate while you wait quietly(AS HARD AS IT IS) will give you victory over your foe.

Get a piece of paper out and write ‘Why am I not being attacked’ when you feel like the World is against you. Then read it and proofread it, and you will see how much stronger you become.

Lesson learned: Drop your shield, the raging battles are present only inside YOUR mind.

Imaginary images…

2007-12-04T11:23:00.000-05:00

‘Things are always much more than what they seem…or much less’
-The Puppet Master

This very morning I was taking a friend to the airport. Despite the turmoil inside his head he carried himself so calmly, probably the peace of mind that his ‘returning home’ would bring, the mere ignoring of the destruction which will inevitably happen if his life continues as chaotic as it is right now, or the effect of a medication.

He held a guitar in hand, a Colombian hat resting on his head, and a huge bag with sneakers that didn’t fit inside tied up to the outside belt. You would’ve thought he was a proficient musician, a South American traveler or just a misplaced youngster who moved out too fast to organize his own life effectively. He was all and none. He couldn’t even play the guitar, which was out of tune anyways.

What do you see when you see a white, young thin boy with long blond hair carrying a surfboard? Do you see a young, crazy, adventurous surfer? Or do you see just a young boy who wants to look like a surfer? Or even then, do you see a young boy who is perhaps carrying a surfboard somewhere, maybe to sell it. The fact is that this boy may be all three of those, or none.

If you see a woman crying alone, what do you see? Is she a woman who cries for the death of her son? Or is she crying out of despair, for she has no money, no home, and no food? Or even then, she might be crying out of happiness, for she has received a so long awaited blessing. She might be all three, or none.

Snails, always seem as cursed for their slowness at least take their time to think. Even monkeys sit down and analyze things before acting, even if the act they perform is not the best.

Lesson learned: What do we see? We are quick to judge. Don’t just see. Scrutinize, see beyond the beyond.

Black diamond…

2007-11-20T21:39:00.000-05:00

‘Only you know your true worth’

-The Puppet Master

Who are you?

Let me ask you again, and think carefully…WHO ARE YOU?

How long did it take you to answer? Did you answer promptly? When we hesitate, is thought, we are showing insecurity. Hesitating, however, brings us a brief moment of rethinking that could end up in a great time of respite.

Are you a young man who’s striving to study? Are you a simple person who works at a store? Are you a woman who’s living the moment? Perhaps you’re an old man who’s feeling tired, or a housewife who’s sad. Maybe you’re an adult female who’s lonely…

Think about how you describe yourself.

I think…wait, let me correct that! I KNOW you are much more than that. Maybe you have been through Hell and back again, but what’s important is not the journey you’ve taken, it is who you are because of that journey.

Have you figured why I asked you this question? Well I have because you, and ONLY YOU know your true value. Coal is a potential diamond.

Who am I? I am a man, a young professional who thought my true worth depended on other’s view of me. God, I suffered for it badly, and lived through a desert that drained my spirit, that wounded my soul. Despite it all I have chosen to stand forth, to look up, thank God and to help others in similar situations not to open their eyes(as it will depend on their own disposition to learn), but to see that there is always another way of seeing things, and themselves.

Now, I ask you, once again, WHO ARE YOU?

Lesson learned: We should all be jewelers, for we are all jewels.

Losing it...

2007-11-16T19:15:00.000-05:00

‘The greatest loser of all knows he’s losing something valuable, yet does nothing to keep it’

-The Puppet Master

The Cravers…

…that would be another, perfect name for the human race. We want more and more each day. We consume, we buy, we even own more than we can handle.

Take for example books. How many of us own books? Are we reading them all at the same time? If not, why do we keep them? They occupy space in our closets, lots of it. We sometimes think they will be useful in the future, but then we don’t ever open them again. Why don’t we give them to someone else who could make good use of the material inside? Even before finishing a book we’re already on the prowl, searching for the next text to feed our craving eyes.

We are so difficult to satisfy.

People…

Are we ever satisfied with what we’ve got? Maybe we have found a great partner, someone worthy to be described in a fairy tale, someone so perfect it must have been ‘sent by God himself’. Sadly, even that is not enough. As time passes by we occasionally get so used to that someone’s presence that we don’t even notice that same old person was the one that swept us away in the beginning. We are ‘satisfied’ by the mere thought of a different person at our side, on our bed, on our lives.

Open your eves before it is too late and decide. What is worth keeping?

Lesson learned: Loss can be a great, yet a stern teacher.

Lone wolf...

2007-11-13T14:43:00.000-05:00

The coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave man...only five hundred.: -Meredith Willson

Why does a wolf howl at the moon?

Have you ever wondered why?

In the eternal search for ourselves we wander, aimlessly at times. Throughout the dank, dark forests of our lives we sometimes see roads that seem to lead to our final destination. Occasionally, and sometimes more than we want it, the road ends on a broken bridge, on a sabotaged dam. We, with our ignorance, have been the perpetrators of such sabotage.

There are times when we must choose a small, forgotten winding trail through the dense woods. It may be the scariest place we’ve been, but only because we have chosen to see these difficulties as such, for we have seen a forest as a place people get lost, not as a great natural source of wood with which to build a campfire, or even a cabin to protect us from the impious weather.

Wolves howl not at the moon, the howl upwards so that the sound can be transmitted in 360 degrees from its howling point. It howls so that others like him can hear him in the distance when he has gotten lost. All sense of pride is abandoned, for a wolf is not foolish, it would rather announce he’s lost than risk never finding his way. They do it atop a rock, on bright nights mostly because amidst the darkness his way will be more visible.

Now other envious wolves can also hear the howl, and may search for him to kill the wanderer. Everything in life involves a risk.

Will you be brave and howl in the middle of your darkest hour? Or will you try to find the way on you own, in your foolish independence?

Lesson learned: ‘I will howl, and I will live’

Green grass...

2007-11-03T11:30:00.000-04:00

‘The grass is always greener on the other side’

-Anonymous

At times you look carefully enough to notice the grass seems greener on the other side of the fence. What you don’t see as carefully is, though, that there's also barbed wire separating those sides, and crossing it can spell disaster. Not only is the crossing over treacherous enough, but as you make it you’ll notice the grass is just the same, it just seemed greener when the light of the sun shone upon it from a different angle.

Why look for a hidden treasure, why wish for what we don’t have?

We humans crave for more and more, our hunger never satisfied. Why don’t we instead take that same light and direct it to wherever we want it to shine. It is then when we will see we can be happy with what we have. The problem is not wanting more, don’t take me wrong, but when you can’t be happy until you catch that ever-fading dream you will never then be happy.

Fulfill your dream, but do it in yourself. Stop looking for your fulfillment anywhere else. Only you can fill your own void, permanently.

Lesson learned: The grass is greener wherever it is watered.

Temporal stasis...

2007-11-03T09:45:00.000-04:00

‘If one thing’s uncertain is uncertainty’

-The Puppet Master

What happens next?

That’s a question we all fear. We, who strive to take control of our lives and environment, the strong human race which seem to be the epitome of evolution on this planet. We have conquered all, but we are conquered by fear.

The fear of loss, the fear of betrayal, the fear of starting again something that is doomed to fail…

Ignorance rears its ugly head, breeds fear, feeds it, raises it, and it sets fear free to roam and destroy us in its growing process.

Understand…set your mind to it. Accept things as they are, accept people as they are. Instead of expecting someone to change, why don’t we learn instead? Learn to deal with the problem, seek the solution.

Move, learn, grow, let go, send away, love yourself, enjoy life as it is, with the least of worries, and you will succeed in finding the happiness we all work so hard to get.

Lesson learned: No one knows what will happen next, but we can focus on what we can do whatever happens.

No return...

2007-10-27T16:53:00.000-04:00

‘The Fountain of Youth is found deep within each one of us’

-The Puppet Master

When was the last time you sat by yourself and said ‘I wish I was young again’. Or when was the last time you told someone ‘Wish I was half my age knowing what I now know’. If you haven’t said it in a long time is most likely because you’ve been too busy to even think about it, but when a single second of respite appears these thoughts come back, as if there was nothing else more important to think about.

The longing of our past youth shows partly regret at our current situation. Who were we when we were 17? We were just an immature version of ourselves. That said we don’t have to long for that ‘lost self’, we ARE that same person and we can do most things just as we did.

You can still laugh at stupid things…

You can still relax and watch movies till the morning…

You can still speak countless hours on the phone…

You can still live life to its fullest…

…intelligently

…wisely

So take an hour to go to that coffee place where you sit down and relax and invite yourself on a date. Invite your old self. Just sit there and relax, not with a newspaper at hand, not with a laptop, not with work stuff. Get your favorite flavor poured and just talk to yourself. Talk about all those things you not just ‘would like to do’, tell yourself those things you ‘will do’ and you will discover you have a chance to be happy and achieve those things you have always dreamed of.

When the date ends, say goodbye to that child you left behind and long for, and say hello to a newer, complete you.

Lesson learned: ‘Others can only bring temporary happiness to our lives, for true happiness must be achieved by our own effort’

Knowledge knows...

2007-10-05T11:55:00.000-04:00

‘Ignorance is bliss, for the ignorant…’

-The Puppet Master

You have to admit it feels good to know things. A sense of superiority, no matter how humble the person, fills a being when he finds out he understands more or better than others around him. Knowledge is a powerful weapon.

Ignorance, by the same token, is a great curse afflicting human society. Those powerful enough to keep knowledge limited and keep it from reaching the hands of the populace are dictators and tyrants of the worst kind.

Why do we choose to keep knowledge from others? Do we have such low self-esteem that we need even this to feel superior?

Teaching is one of the best professions there is out there, if you come to think of it. Teachers are much more powerful than military leaders, doctors, artists, writers and even rulers. Teachers create each and all of them.

Speak honestly to others when asked, and reveal all you know. Give unto others, transmit your knowledge, for in the end it will otherwise all go to the grave, where not even the worms will get sustenance from it.

Lesson learned: ‘If I teach all the ways I can save a life perhaps I will be saved in the same way in the future’.

Recalling integrity…

2007-09-13T12:33:00.000-04:00

‘Always remember where you came from, and, even if you lose it all don’t lose your integrity’

-My Dad, some time ago

What do you think of when you hear that one word integrity?

What image comes to your mind?

The dictionary defines integrity as ‘wholeness’, ‘moral soundness’, and my personal favorite ‘an undivided or unbroken completeness or totality with nothing wanting’.

I won’t start talking about moral soundness and morality, only because after living through my recent experiences I’ve learned well there are people who just choose to ignore morality(with a billion different excuses for doing so) just to justify their behavior, however aberrant other people would consider it. By the same token this blog would be ignored by them, and I want it to be a learning and teaching experience, not a personal attack.

With nothing wanting…

That part just makes you stand in front of your life’s mirror and evaluate yourself. What have you done in the last year? The last month? The last week? What are the principles you used as a standard to evaluate others and how do you measure up against your own standard? Most of the time we don’t even come close. We fail ourselves.

I have failed myself. I tried to stand firm in my convictions, but was slowly swayed by the deceiving snakes of my personal Eden. The unforgiving claws of shame made me exile myself out of paradise. Unlike Eve facing God I have no excuse. I almost gave in to even the risk of uncontrolled passion and sharing my treasures with strangers, but I didn’t.

Like a failed knight with a charred suit of armor I kneel in front of the light, the light where nothing is hidden from view. I look up and with a weakened smile come to realize I have not completely failed myself. If something, I have succeeded. I have chased the depraved bandits assaulting my dominion, even though it almost cost me my sanity.

Today I stand in the light where I bask. A new suit of silver armor which I hope will reflect upon the light that heals my wounds rests upon my shoulders. A failed knight is more dangerous and more chivalrous upon his return, I will stand firm this time, remembering the treacherous ground I once treaded upon, and I will not walk that path again, ever.

What will you do?

Lesson learned: To succeed in life’s growth process we have to be able to recognize where we fail ourselves. It will then set a firm ground where to set hold when the chaotic maelstrom of confusion comes to consume us.

Blind perception...

2007-09-01T12:56:00.000-04:00

‘If I ask you a question, you will answer what I want to hear. Were I to converse with you, I would let your true self flow out and be seen’
-Laudy

Two hurried, constant steps echo endlessly within the empty chambers where a river flows eternally to be mixed with the breath of life…

Such is the beating of our heart when it feels joy. It behaves thus when we open ourselves to the possibility of getting to know another person be it friend, lover, child, or just an acquaintance.

Our solitude in this world moving fast-forward fills us with despair at times, and fear of staying alone for the rest of our existence. We live our lives in such a hurry only because we choose to, because we perceive it as too short. Now, take your time to enjoy each minute one day, to sit down and relax, to read a little or, even better to gaze at the clouds passing by and think.
After less than half an hour it would seem as if many hours have passed, for life is long in itself, we just pass it by.

By the same token, when we meet another person, be it whomever it may be, we many times ask them multiple questions. Who are we to test their will or intentions? Is it wise to start asking the questions we already have in our repertoire to ease the analysis? Now, we abort new relationships(be it friendship or love) after reaching a conclusion thanks to the limits we impose on ourselves and our own fruitless perception. It’s like judging a book by its cover.

Strive to see a person for what he is, for what is a tree?
What, again, is a tree?
Draw it a second, do this exercise and then read more.

Draw a tree…

Take the time to listen, to ease a conversation and then study a person. Close your damned agenda and open your sketch book, where you will be able to express yourself and let others do the same comfortably.

Now, look at your tree. Did you draw the leaves? The foliage is one thing but, did you draw the leaves? The fruits? Did you draw the earth, or the roots? How about the roots going into the earth?
You probably didn’t, such is your limited perception of others…

Lesson learned: Before reaching any conclusion analyze things carefully, specially people. Things are not just black and white, nor grays and multicolored. There’s also transparent, invisible things we can only perceive if we are careful.

Laughing matters...

2007-08-23T11:43:00.000-04:00

‘Smile, and you may brighten up the day of someone who may brighten yours someday’
-The Puppet Master

So, you’re sitting here, in front of this screen. I bet you’re not smiling.

Why not?

Maybe you think there’s no reason to smile today, or just right now. Well, for one thing you’re alive. You probably have a job. You surely have a family, or just people you can count on in your direst times. There can be a million different reasons why you should smile, if not outright laugh.
We live under so much pressure. Each morning starts with our worrying about the rest of the day, and maybe even the days to follow. Is there enough money left on our bank accounts? Is there much homework to do for college? Is the pool clean? Am I ill? Did I feed my fish? Do I have clean clothes for tomorrow? What am I going to cook today? Does he/she still love me? While we worry about all these things we’re not living our lives, our lives are living us.

Stop your day for a second. If possible, turn the lights of your room off for a minute. Otherwise just turn off the lights of your mind and think not of things other than ‘why, despite it all, should I be happy about’.

Practice this. Pick three unknown people today, look at them in the eye and smile. Just smile. You will see their faces brighten up. You make even make a new friend. Most importantly, you may ease a burden from that someone’s shoulders. They will feel so good about themselves that they will, in turn, smile to someone else. Imagine the power a simple movement of your lips can have, it can change lives, it can change the world…

Lesson learned: Give unto others, and life will reward you.

Self dedication...

2007-08-22T11:18:00.000-04:00

‘Why do we dedicate time but not thoughts to ourselves?’
-The Puppet Master

Before reading more pick up a blank piece of paper and a pen or pencil. If you don’t have access to them right now then wait, and read it when you have them available, you will then experience something that can change your life.

Now, with the paper and pen in hand…

Write yourself a song, dedicate yourself a poem.

Have you ever wondered what your life in its entirety is like? You surely have dwelled on the problems you face, on the moment you are living through right now. You may have ignored the rest, though.
Have you sincerely ever sat down to think how your life has truly been? Have you ever given much thought to the ‘who am I’, rather than to the 'what I want'?

Write it all down, as a brainstorm before editing it.

Though you may think yourself unskilled in this endeavor your life in itself will make a masterpiece of whatever you choose to write. It is the very essence of your self, of who you have learnt to be, what will give life to the piece you write. Be honest, for only then you will truly understand so much about yourself and you will be ready to face the world once again as you truly are, not as you want to be.

Write it here as a comment and contribute to the growth of others. Most importantly, know yourself, love yourself, teach yourself, and learn yourself.

Wanderer

Over many years, many changes
Faces in my life, most remembered
Battering illusions of the past
Playing my own disbelief

(Chorus)
Preying prayers holding me together
Torturous hands tearing me in two
Supplication of iniquity
I’ve sinned against myself
I’ve trespassed my soul
Will I be the same forevermore?

Eyes searching upon the light,
Blessing touch of healing hands
Comforting words that ease the pain
That soothe the soul, that lick the wounds

Settling in, wandering settler
Achieving goals so far away
Hidden joy and hopeful song
Bursting through my chest

(chorus)

Lesson learned: Only by being honest to myself will I be able to start the journey to change what I must change to become who I must become.

For granted...

2007-08-21T15:50:00.001-04:00

‘Every single little thing, if seen on its own, is valuable’
-The Puppet Master

So you’re sitting there, in front of this electronic device. Many of you have taken a step forward in life and have determined to try and appreciate things more. Well, there are very small, insignificant things that may have been overlooked…
Who served your coffee this morning? Who is that person and what does it mean to you? He might be just an anonymous guy serving coffee, but that anonymous guy helped you start your day off in a particularly good mood. If it wasn’t for him you’d get to work late(or even later if you’re already so).
Who was that lady in the car at your side while you drove to work? She’s just one lady driving her vehicle, but yet you recall her face, and maybe her smile however faint. Who is she, and what does she mean to you? She may well be just an aged woman, but she smiled at you, and a smile is always responded, conscious or unconsciously.
Who’s the security guard, the janitor, the policeman, the little child across the street? Who are they, and what do they mean to you in the never-ending chaotic turmoil of your life.

Now, who is the person you sometimes kiss in the morning? Who is that someone who cuddled with you in the cold of the night. It might not mean much, but that someone’s proximity would help you comfort in your sleep. Who is he whose eyes pierce your very essence and make your drawn weapons fall to the ground? Who is he, and what does he mean to you?
Have you forgotten? To truly appreciate life one must appreciate all the little things around us, and all the big things our ungratefulness makes appear little.

Lesson learned: Every single little piece of candy is sweet. Like each day in love, it should be truly appreciated.

Dawn breaks...

2007-08-15T15:36:00.000-04:00

‘Good night, Mo, and sweet dreams. Fold this day into itself, and when tomorrow comes start your life anew’
-Whitten Hall , text message received on 08/15/07

(This post would originally be named ‘Night falls…’ However, like plants, if I am to continue my growth process I need to bask in the warm light of a new day)

…and, with difficulty, you close the last page of that accursed book, its parchment written along with never-ending tears of blood. Despite an utmost desire to cast it away to the bottom of the sea or burn it in a pyre something makes you cling to its content for a second. You take the book back. If opened once again the fresh memories will claw at your skin viciously, perhaps reopening wounds that have clearly not been healed. The shock of the things sometimes best left forgotten will cloud your thoughts and will weaken your spirit.

Set it down, look at this inanimate object that has taken possession of your most intimate thoughts. Breathe in deeply, look at it one last time and say 'thanks for the lessons learned'. Pick it up and place it in an open bookshelf, but high enough so that you can't reach it again, but so that you can see it and remember the lessons you learned whenever you decide to clean your house.

As bad as things may seem they are not the end of the World. Maybe they are the end of the world you knew, a world which you thought you would never be able to escape. Free yourself from pain, free yourself from sorrow, and free yourself from those who inflict them on you or themselves. Above all, love yourself, for in due time you’ll realize you’re the only one you can count on.

Lesson learned: 'The past is a collection of memories from which you can learn, not a web in which you are caught. By all means leave it all behind, lift your hands in victory over that which would never let you move forward, yourself. Just say goodbye'

The end...

2007-08-09T09:44:00.000-04:00

‘There’s a means to an end, and what does the end truly mean?’
-The Puppet Master

A time of respite comes after every big battle. Where many have died not long ago and many wounds were inflicted, where the spirits of hatred permeated the scene, now only quiescence remains.
An empty house, the echoes of the crystallized tears breaking upon contact with the ground fill the air. Where once there was love there is now resentment, where there was passion uncontrolled desires reign, where there was understanding there’s just confusion left.
You wake up in your bed one day, alone. Your only companions have been your pillows, sheets and the sun, the only ones caressing your chest now.
It feels as if we are in a vortex. The Limbo or Hades itself would seem like an easier place to live in.

The end is just happening. We are living through it.

It is not over…

The end is just a step away from the new beginning.
The sheets in your bed will comfort you while you’re sleeping, the sun will wake you up without an argument, his warmth the one you have not felt for long.

A new day has arrived. There is so much to do. Things happen for a reason, they say. Close the last chapter and sigh, breath out in relief that the burden was already carried, set in place. Reward yourself.

Pull the ivy's thorns from around your heart out, it will hurt in the process, but do it promptly lest your heart be wounded beyond repair.

Forgive…
…forget…

Lesson learned: ‘Rise up and smile, and you’ll shine more than the purest of gold’

Left behind...

2007-08-08T20:54:00.000-04:00

‘Everything in life is a learning experience’

-The Puppet Master

Have you ever felt like a slow child sitting at the front desk in his classroom, trying to learn as fast as the others, only to be forgotten by an indifferent teacher? No matter how hard he tries, no matter how much he strives he will always, in the end, be left behind…And some may argue it is not cruel, and many will agree. They say the masses cannot lose grip on their success due to their waiting for the weakest link.

What about those animals who are wounded, they will be easy prey to the wolves following them. Those in the front will move on, leaving the unfortunate one behind…Some may say it is in nature itself to preserve the species, and that the species cannot succumb due to the saving of the one who will die nonetheless.

In some homes there are parents who have grown tired of their problems. They pack up their things and just disappear one night, leaving their children defenseless, behind…Surely there are those who argue people act in weird ways at times, and it should be forgiven, for in the end they are protecting themselves from insanity.

Even eternal lovers separate occasionally due to one partner’s desire to ‘live life to its fullest’ without taking into consideration the needs or desires of his other half, and one stays alone, behind…What argument people may add is that one should look for its own happiness, even if sometimes it means others must be sacrificed.

An old pet is forgotten by a child, eager to receive her new pet and hold it in her arms.The original one tries its best to be noticed, only to be replaced easily and left behind…Parents may agree children need new experiences, and each new experience makes them grow to become better people.

Clearly, all these fools have never felt what it is to be left behind.

When you stay behind what’s left is the cold winter of a cruel solitude. The hungry, impious predators loom around waiting for your fall to devour you, gnawing at your bones when nothing is left.

Look up now, stand up, stand out, and stand proud. You have been left behind for a reason. Someone has overlooked your true value. Someone has mistaken you for something else and, in many ways your abandonment will ultimately help you to realize your true worth.

Lesson learned: Stand up, light a fire, and fend off the wolves of your past. You have not been left behind, as those fools have not moved forward. They have turned and moved a different way.

Unsung song...

2007-08-08T18:19:00.000-04:00

''The only perfect song comes from the heart'

The Puppet Master

You

Never thought one day I’d come

To admire, ooh to admire

A spirit young,

Crazy, always roaming free

Striving to stay afloat

Fighting for freedom, ooh endless freedom

From that labyrinthine mind,

Torturous punishment, damned curse

You

Smiling, a lighthouse in my life

A touch infrequently soft

Yet always so gentle

You

Disquieting poem of endless

Different verses

Composing your being

Perfect statue

I built you a throne of heart-made marble

Black pearl eyes charming me

Ooh charming me

Warrior of justice

Friend to the loneliness

Brave young sentience

Lifting me up, ooh lifting me up

Lesson learned: Write yourself a song, and it will never go unnoticed.

Bitten hand…

2007-08-02T08:23:00.000-04:00

‘I have to admire Jesus’
-The Puppet Master

It feels awful to be so deeply hurt that even the tears refrain to make an appearance. Of the many experiences that shape lives I guess pain turns out to be a very loyal friend. Years after a painful event the mere memory of it can cleave into our heart and leave a bleeding gash. It was always there, we then realize. Pain just makes you believe the cake is freshly baked.
Amongst the worst kinds of pain is the one you feel after a betrayal. We are not perfect, nobody is. Some of us, though, try our best to help another being. We sacrifice our time, we fall in love, we modify our plans, we spend money, sometimes get in debt, only to one day be left behind when that someone is feeling better.
The grass is always greener on the other side… those wise words should be included in the Bible.
Beware of stray dogs. They may be wounded, their saddened eyes hiding their very true sick nature. You will feed them in order to not only do some good, but to truly aid some being. In the end a stray dog will still be a stray dog. It will sink its teeth deeply in your hand before it leaves for someone else’s care. All the time you dedicated serves nothing, for all he cares you’re one day running out of food, and he needs to find another source.

There are things worse than stray dogs…

Lesson Learned: ‘Parasites: a phenomenon in which two organisms which are unrelated co-exist over a prolonged period of time, usually the lifetime of one of the individuals’

363 days...

2007-07-26T21:02:00.000-04:00

'Nothing lasts forever...except bad politicians'
-The Puppet Master

A stillborn creature lies before me. My eyes once filled with compassion and saddened are now full of glee.

The poet who never wrote a poem closes his eyes…

The mime who never expressed a thing is frozen…

The painter ends his art before the first stroke…

Almost a year is gone, and the dreams will remain just dreams. The wounded swallow will fly once again home. The man tending its wounds remains silent, left in the background while the bird seeks its way. He sighs, and he turns around to once again walk the way he left behind while in the care of the wounded soul.

Memories solid like the hardest diamond will remain. Lessons are learned, they must be remembered. Life ends, and in the eternal cycle of this existence it begins once more.

Good luck, my little one, wherever you fly to, wherever you nest I’ll be here remembering you…

Lesson learned: ‘If I were to write all the lessons learned in these last 363 days I would never stop writing. But, above all, I have learned to love truly’.

Deafening words...

2007-07-11T10:15:00.000-04:00

‘Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens’
-Jimi Hendrix

Wait…
Take a minute to stop doing what you’re doing, even reading these words, and listen.

I am sure it may be the only minute today you may have not just put your ears to work but to listen carefully for once.

You certainly felt different even if for an instant.
Some among us have studied a lot. Others may have watched the news for years, maybe even read all the great poems and more than a hundred books and in the process have obtained great knowledge. They think, even if they don’t want to admit it, their role in life is to ‘educate’ or ‘enlighten’ others with their vast array of lectures. Most of them become orators who are ever ready to make a speech at the first opportunity. These people become the best of listeners…if listening to their own words was the only thing that counts.

History recognizes great speakers, the greatest orators of times past and present. Their names will never be forgotten for what they said at one time. It doesn’t honor those who have listened.
Funny, isn’t it? Most of us refer to ourselves great listeners. Guess that is only because we are all great liars. The only words we pay close attention to are the ones which could trampoline us to a masterful interruption of what is being expressed and an inclusion of our own set of ‘knowledgeable’ blabber.
When we speak mindlessly we make ourselves deaf to other people’s expressions, and we deafen their own ears. Our knowledge then becomes bland, only a group of words coming out of the lips of a robotic being. We show our low self-esteem.
An argument is not won by the one who expresses the most words, by the one who interrupts the most, or even by the one who talks last…

So, if I admire those who seek knowledge by their sheer intelligence and their ambition to read more, I admire even more those who develop a greater understanding of things, of people and of themselves by choosing to listen intently. They learn how not to be from those incapable of taking their time to listen.

There would be no need for therapists if we would all listen to each other.

Lesson Learned: The greatest changes in the history of the World were accomplished not by the ones who spoke new ideas, but by those who chose to listen.

Be strung...

2007-07-10T11:58:00.000-04:00

When the going gets tough the tough get going…the wise look for a better way around
-The Puppet Master

We cannot save the World.

If we keep focusing on the problems we face every day: the overwhelming weight of the guilt, the hatred, the feeling of impotence, the arrogance, the indifference, we won’t ever solve anything. We will end up committing mass suicide one day.

We as humans are the (some say) most evolved of species, yet we are also the most primitive in one too many a way. Humans have a great capacity to learn and to be understanding, but also capable of being exceedingly cruel, unforgiving, and demanding. We are happy only when sitting at the judge’s podium, someone else being the victim. We then become powerful, cold, distant, different, listening only to our own decrees and determinations. Yet, when we are in the spotlight we’re like wild beasts defending ourselves against any judgment from someone else. In our minds we aren’t holy, for we foolishly think we are better than that.
The past can help us guide ourselves towards our own future. Some, however, are so rotten inside they will dwell in the past like vultures over a morbid corpse, pecking at the broken pieces of the person you once were.

Despite it all, despite the desolate future we can foresee if things keep going the way they are be strong.
Be strong when you are hurting and no one seems to care.
Be strong when you have been humiliated, for taking revenge is showing weakness.
Be strong when you’re misjudged, when others don’t believe you, or don’t believe in you.
Be strong when you’re alone in your quest for becoming a better person, when others think you have no hope for change.

Oh, but the vultures of the past will still be haunting you, flying above, their shadows looming towards your every failing step. They will feed on your fear, they will delight on your pain upon remembering your transgressions, they will flaunt on their only virtue, their ability to hurt.

Lesson Learned: By being strong you will not only survive the continuously evolving chaos we live in, you’ll also be above the likes of those who live reminding you of your past mistakes, and above those who can’t do more than point at your present ones.

Thank you...

2007-06-29T04:09:00.000-04:00

Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone. ~G.B. Stern

Thank you life,
for being the perfect teacher every day. For showing patience, for understanding. For expressing your opinion through your sealed lips.

Thanks for poverty, for it teaches me not to pity, but to help the unfortunate.

Thanks for hurricanes, earthquakes, volcanoes, storms, for they have shown me nature's beauty can be found even in the worst of times.

Thank you life for the suffering undergone, for it teaches me strength comes from within, and to search for it constantly.

Thank you for friendship, for I have learned the importance of love unconditional.

Thank you for the tears, for they have given me sensibility.

Thank you life for laughter, for it has lifted my spirits even in the worst of times.

Thanks for debt, it has taught me to become a better administrator of my blessings.

Thank you for newer enemies, for they have taught me future carefulness.

Thank you life, for death, for it has taught me nothing lasts forever.

Lesson Learned: Thank you always, life, for all the lessons learned...

Wounded soldier...

2007-06-24T02:33:00.000-04:00

‘The wise sometimes stop and think, the wiser rethink’
-The Puppet Master

…a sanguine trail follows the sole survivor of that barren wasteland which, moments before, was a hellish battleground. His sword rests under the weakened grasp of the wounded man’s failing grip. Around him the valley breathes death. Despite his dwindling strength he takes another step forward, each one harder than the last. He falls to the ground, the dying breath leaving his dry lips.

After every great battle there comes a time of respite.
One feels weary, tiredness takes a hold of a person after a long struggle. There is always a lot of pain and even more discomfort. Love can suffer deep, grievous wounds that sometimes help it become stronger. Just sometimes…

What matters is not the time we take to rest, to think of all possibilities and ways to solve our issues, ways to heal ourselves. The wise men think before moving forward, the wiser think again.

Don’t think of ways to heal a wound, for sometimes healing is not the solution. An infected wound must be cut open, the damage removed and cast away to be forgotten, lest it infects the rest and end the life altogether.

After the sometimes different healing process the story of one’s life can sound different, taking an unexpected turn…

…a sanguine trail follows the sole survivor of that barren wasteland which, moments before, was a hellish battleground. His sword rests under the weakened grasp of the wounded man’s failing grip. Around him the valley breathes death. Despite his dwindling strength he takes another step forward, each one harder than the last. He sinks his blade on the ground from which water slowly sprouts. The time for healing has come forth.

Lesson learned: The strongest soldiers regain their strength after the chaos is gone. The wisest regain their will.

Unrevealed feelings...

2007-06-14T09:55:00.001-04:00

‘I would be nothing without you…’
-Wind Beneath my Wings

Weariness took a hold of us on our way back from New Orleans. It would later take us close to 24 hours to drive all the way back home. We spoke, sang, listened to multiple radiostations, argued and many other minor forgettable things…now, one particular moment would change my life. They played a song some Hispanic songstress dedicated to her deceased father.

The song would bring tears to my eyes…

My father was a serious-minded individual who would joke more with strangers than with us. He was outgoing with others but stern with us. Dad would not sit beside me to help me with my homework. He didn’t talk to me about sex during my teenager years. I don’t remember him saying ‘I love you son’ or ‘I’m so proud of you’. My father never bought me a car. He didn’t talk much, always hiding behind his newspaper, reading himself to sleep after coming in from work. My father just gave me $2.00 each day for lunch. He didn’t buy me nice clothes or shoes. Dad would never buy me a drink, and never taught me how to drink. He didn’t hug me…

Now my father would not tell us jokes, for we were amongst the ones who heard them. He would want us to be firm in our decisions. I wouldn’t ever see him helping me with my homework for he didn’t have much education, and once he saw me going on my own two feet he let me do them on my own. He didn’t talk about sex during my teen years for he had done it before that. My dad never said ‘I love you’ or even ‘I’m so proud’ for he knew words weren’t enough, he showed it with a smile, and his co-workers would always tell us how much he did. He never bought me a car, but yet in nearly 30 years since he got married he never got a new car himself, always damaged, always cheap cars was all he could afford. My father perhaps spent too much time with the newspaper, for we spent too much time in front of the tv and playing video games, ignoring him when he would speak. He gave me $2.00 for lunch each day, not enough when the cheapest lunch was $3.00, but he kept only $0.50 in his pockets each day for just two cups of coffee to mitigate his own hunger. He didn’t buy me new clothes or shoes, and I developed no sense of fashion, yet his clothes were much older than mine, and he would never complain. My father would never buy me a drink, for he had been an alcoholic in the past and he didn’t want me to try what had almost destroyed his life and family.

I tried to contain myself, but I couldn’t help it but let the tears trickle down my face. All this time I had not been grateful enough to acknowledge I am what I am because of my father. I don’t mean this in the accusing way immature adolescents point their fingers at their progenitors, stating they are at fault for their children’s mistakes. What I mean is that, despite it all, I am a good man, responsible, warm, caring, a funny individual, goal-oriented, all thanks to the example that my own father had given me.

Our fathers may not have been perfect in a million different ways. Sometimes we just condemn them for ‘doing what they did’, whatever that means. They are just human beings like us. Who are we to judge them when we make mistakes every day, and these are all our very own mistakes. In their place maybe we would have been better, but maybe we would have done worse.

Due to our culture it is hard for us to just look at our father’s eyes in a day other than Father’s Day and say ‘Dad, thank you for all the lessons learned, I love you for that’. Let’s just do it. I’m flying back home today to the arms of my old man and I can’t wait to see him and give him a big hug and a kiss.

Dad, I won’t wait till you pass away to let you know how grateful I am to have had you in my life.

Lesson Learned: ‘Dad, with all your imperfections you’re better than any role model out there. You are my one true hero.’

Broken lens...

2007-06-03T19:58:00.000-04:00

When we focus on fixing someone else’s many defects we become far less perfect.

-The Puppet Master

My hands are dry now, dry like a dead sea. The eyes tired of shedding silent tears which would only be saved by my own failing grasp.

I once tried to be a knight on my own, a warrior of virtue that ended up just a regular con man; a commoner who played being a chosen one, a languid mockery of one who should have been praised for his acting instead of his well portrayed deceitful sacrifice.

It is true, I have to admit, that a recent wound is not easily forgotten. A recent gushing of blood seems to be bigger than anything else. This is characteristic not of human nature, but of the societal norms we condemn ourselves with.

People like failures. It lets them focus on who to condemn, on where to point the accusing finger at. A lamb must be chosen as a sacrificial in order for people to forget their self-esteem is ever closer to hit rock-bottom.

Why feel the nail of your own pointing finger clawing at your own reflection when you can use it to make someone else’s life miserable?

I have met a new, most faithful friend. It has become more than a friend, but a secret personal trainer. He’s pushed me forward, giving me the momentum I need to overcome life’s many obstacles. The last few days we have visited the most complete of libraries, that place where the greatest secrets are kept, my own consciousness. Without a doubt I can close my eyes and trust in him, for Time will never betray me, it will only be the best of teachers.

New decisions will have to be faced in the near future but I fear not. For good or for ill they will make me stronger.

Lesson Learned: Amongst the many things you can learn from time is that it can never heal a wound. It will, however, give you the wisdom to heal them yourself.

Nieve blanca...

2007-05-24T11:30:00.000-04:00

Si me preguntas por qué creo en ángeles entenderé que eres ciego

-The Puppet Master

‘¿Qué cantas?’

Esa voz de pequeña curiosa todavía hace eco en mi mente, siempre dibujando una sonrisa plena en mi rostro.

Me recuerdo sentado tras un escritorio viejo, de espaldas a ella. Contesté que era sólo una canción que había escrito, restando importancia. Aun así insistió en escucharla entera. En algún otro caso probablemente me hubiese resistido, al menos algo, mas esta no era solo una niña en una iglesia o vecindario curioseando, era ella una joven desafortunada internada en la unidad de cuidado intensivo del hospital de la capital. Yo le atendía desde hace solo un día.

‘Si tan solo mi papá la pudiese escuchar algún día…¿Se la cantarías?’ Contesté que por supuesto, tratando de salir del paso.

La recuerdo sola en esa cama, la unidad de intensivo pediátrico vacía en esos días. Era la chiquilla la única paciente. Bien por mí, estaba a penas empezando la práctica de mi carrera médica y con un solo caso, complicado como era, tendría tiempo para cometer menos errores.

Quedó enamorada de un peluche que llevaba en mi bolsillo, un pequeño oso polar que a penas costo un dólar. Lo cargaba para llamar la atención de los pequeños en la unidad de pediatría. El día siguiente le regalé el osillo, a quien coloqué un yeso con cinta adhesiva en la cabeza hasta cubrir diagonalmente uno de sus ojos.

‘Así podré cuidar de él así como me cuidas a mí’ indicó la niña.

Conocí a sus padres. Insistieron en escuchar la canción. Luego de interpretarla el hombre me contó, con lágrimas asomándose en sus ojos, acerca de sí. Era un hombre retirado, había sido pastor de una iglesia por muchos años. Junto a su esposa decidieron un día adoptar una niña a sabiendas que había nacido hiv positivo.

A sabiendas…

El hombre dejó el servicio a la iglesia cuando la niña comenzó a enfermarse seriamente. Ya era ella una jovencita de catorce años de edad, con una sonrisa amplia eternamente grabada en su rostro y un corazón enorme. Mucha gente criticó su abandono de la iglesia.

‘Es usted admirable’ indiqué. ‘Gente como usted son los verdaderos héroes que salvan el mundo. Salvan el mundo entero de una chica. El cielo esta hecho para gente así, y no para aquellos que pierden su tiempo solo cantando dentro de una iglesia’

Su madre mencionó que en una semana sería el quinceañero de esta niña, que dejaría de serlo, según la tradición, para convertirse en una mujercita. De regalo había pedido vestirse de Blanca Nieves, pero la chiquilla no sabia si podría cumplirse el deseo ‘porque mis papás no tienen tanto dinero, así que si me ponen una Blanca Nieves en el bizcocho con eso me imaginare que soy yo’. Mientras miraba con disimulo a su madre ella me hacía señas, afirmando con su cabeza y llevando su dedo a la boca en señal de silencio.

Llegaba el fin de semana, tendría el domingo una presentación con la banda donde solía ser vocalista. La niña andaba muy mal, su condición empeoraba, mas ella con mas ánimo me dijo ‘Espero que todo les vaya bien, quisiera estar bien para poder ir a verlos cantar. Antes que se vaya, doctor ¿Cree que pueda estar el martes fuera de aquí para poder ir a mi quinceañero?’

‘Quién sabe’ respondí ‘quizás sí’.

Ese viernes ella ya había comenzado a levantarse de la camilla a caminar, tenía mas fuerzas. Su ánimo aumentaba cada momento.

Conseguí los permisos para poder traer la banda entera a la unidad de intensivo a cantar para ella, que ya mejoraba tanto que fue trasladada al piso regular. Sus resultados de laboratorio, sin embargo, estaban peor que nunca.

‘Lo que hace el ánimo y la fe’ me dije a mí mismo.

El domingo al medio día vendríamos inmediatamente luego de nuestra presentación a cantarle como regalo sorpresa de quinceañero.

El martes se cumpliría su sueño mayor. El lunes posiblemente se daría de alta. El domingo en la madrugada falleció…

Ya en la funeraria su padre me presentó como ‘el medico loco, el único que la hizo sonreir durante sus últimos días’.

Me acerqué al ataúd, donde se hallaba aquel ángel inocente que ya no sonreía. Allí yacía con su osito de peluche entre sus manos inertes. Vestía su traje de Blanca Nieves y, como en el cuento, dormía en su féretro esperando al príncipe azul que para ella nunca vendría.

De seguro desde el cielo escuchaba la canción que allí le cantamos y danzaba con su vestido nuevo eternamente sonriendo…

Lección Aprendida: Mañana puede ser muy tarde para demostrar amor.

Lección dolorosa...

2007-05-21T17:08:00.000-04:00

‘Será el día que recordaré por siempre’ –yo mismo

Nunca antes mi alma se estremeció con tanta fuerza. Nunca crujieron mis dientes ante la ira contra mí mismo, por haber sido un tonto, un idiota. Fui un bufón mentiroso que, como un ávido actor quitó su máscara solo para revelar su maquillaje. No he sido más que un hechicero engañoso arrepentido de sus sortilegios. Magia, arte que ha arremetido contra todo lo que algún día añoré tener.

He sido también un viejo titeretero que ha manipulado los hilos de otros para alcanzar sus metas. En el camino he enredado mis propios hilos, haciendo tropezar a mi ser más querido, a quien traté alguna vez de hacer sonreir con mi arte.

El dolor puede ser el mejor amigo, el confidente. Es también el mejor maestro, aquel que te enseña a pensar con claridad antes de tomar una decisión o llegar a un acuerdo. Susurra a tu oído mientras clava su puñal lentamente en tu costado, pero es preciso, pues solo lo hace donde más te marque.

Sólo los idiotas dicen no arrepentirse de nada. Sí, es verdad que los errores enseñan, ayudan a madurar, a ser un hombre de verdad, pero ellos solo niegan estar arrepentidos como si eso los hiciese parecer más maduros, más fuertes, pobres diablos…mas entiendo su orgullo ciego, lo vivo al caer mis súplicas en los frígidos oídos de un corazón herido.

Debo ser honesto conmigo mismo. Que las llamas calcinen mis huesos. Que las lágrimas infinitas apaguen las llamas. Que el tiempo haga cicatrizar mi herida. Tengo ahora en mis manos el regalo que tengo, solo tengo lo que algún momento debí tener solo sé que, a pesar de todo lo que tengo, tengo tanto y no tengo nada.

Lección Aprendida: ‘Te juro, por lo más sagrado, mi amor iluso y perdido, que pase lo que pase siempre te seré honesto’ –frente a un espejo

Unstable ground...

2007-05-20T09:43:00.000-04:00

The stone castle walls, built after many years of hardship fighting off the winds from the past, withstanding the fiercest of sieges, crumbled like a scribbled piece of paper in a child’s hands after the earthquake was gone…

A man fends off the many wolves surrounding his cabin. He bleeds from wounds inadequately tended, but his maiden and child are well protected. Hungry beasts prowl on the outside in waiting. As they rest his new love chooses to leave the door open. She is not sure if to leave it open or not, she changes her mind every hour, claiming humans were created to be ‘free’…

Two enemy leaders made a peace truce against their warring nations’ will…

A mother grounds her children for a week and brings them presents that same day…

You feel good one day, you fell better the next, yet on the third day your problems resurface, they resurrect like people say about The Christ. It is true, problems don’t just disappear, they hide, and sometimes they become stronger. To survive in life not only do you have to strive to achieve your goals, you also have to ponder if your goal is true, if it will make you feel successful once you attain it. For all I know you can risk your life climbing the highest mountain in search for Jesus’ tomb only to find Mohammad’s.

Make sure your goal is well set, even more that your feet are well-grounded. The time of chaos is near, in fact it’s always there in some people’s lives.

Are you willing to risk your sanity for someone else’s? In the future they might be grateful to you, for they might be at your side caring for your wounds, or they might care for another’s...

Lesson Learned: If your life seems to become a checkerboard, make sure you make the right moves to keep your main pieces together, even if you need to sacrifice some pieces in the process…

Heaven's teachings...

2007-05-16T15:23:00.000-04:00

‘I want to take you up to the heavens, just as you have taken me’ – D.

…read the postcard on my birthday this year. There were five, perhaps six of them but this one, the very last one, caught my attention more than anything else.

As I turned it around I saw a picture of a hot air balloon and immediately felt like a child once again. I couldn’t help it but smile and laugh. Good as it might have been, the idea that I might have gotten a day at a spa didn’t comfort me. A day on a boat…well, that was okay. Now a hot air balloon, that was totally unexpected.

After the years I’ve lived and what I've been through I’m not easily surprised. I tend to expect anything from anyone and I have thought, in my foolish arrogance and wrongly at times that people are just plainly predictable.

Nearly two months passed by before the trip came to happen. It had been cancelled three times due to the weather mostly. The day before it all happened I was caught unprepared, we received that unusual call reminding us and that made the excitement even greater.

The day finally arrived, that weird morning I was filled with a mix of curiosity and fear of the unknown. The hot air balloon took off, we were lifted up in the air like a leaf in the faintest and calmest of winds.

Seconds later we were a hundred feet high, minutes later the distance became over a thousand feet. No noise was heard other than the flames warming the balloon’s inside. The wind had made a pact of peace with our beings, letting us enjoy the landscape down below.

An indescribable sensation took over me. I was just an insignificant man floating in the air above it all, powerless. Cars moved hurriedly like ants from one place to another. Dogs and horses covered what seemed like a very short distance. People tending their land, houses being built, children playing… It is such a big place we live in. I was humbled by the beauty of the sun appearing in the horizon, trying to climb higher than us in the skyline.

We are nothing, we can just die in an instant and the world will continue spinning, everyone will continue their daily lives despite their temporary hurting. Yet, we think we’re all that. No one’s indispensable. Whatever we do can, in a way, affect a lot of people, or just become lost in the large pond of meaningless events around us.

I have received the best gift of all, a time of introspection like no other, a moment where I have learned to appreciate life from a different perspective. One day I will pay it back.

Lesson Learned: Life is a great deal more than what I have thought until now. I will focus more on the big picture than on small meaningless details.

Deep struggle...

2007-05-08T14:11:00.000-04:00

Stillness
Stealthy movement unnoticed
As time stopped eternally
Advancing only in age

Silence
The dungeon of solitude
A prisoner inside his own lips
Claiming mutely for freedom

Sadness
Death of emotions
And tears unshed a sea
Where a smile vanishes and drowns

Survival
In a glacier once called home
A million feelings numbed
And no flame desired

Slumber
The closest escape route
The being unwise
Regenerator of life

Strength
A thousand youths present
The extinct smile returning
I can only hope for the best

Surrender
If there is a solution, God, tell me
For I can’t help it but wonder
Am I killing myself or just dying

Cleansing pyre...

2007-05-04T10:24:00.000-04:00

And the flames purging my soul from sins both real and imagined formed blisters on the scalded skin, the once diabolical expression leaving behind the forgotten carcass of a tortured angel…

Imagine yourself with your eyes closed, feeling the urge to scream to the top of your lungs; once you open the twin orbs you find yourself chained to the bottom of a pool filled with stagnant water…

It is just like a preacher with the message of salvation roaming along an arid desert where no life exists…

An astronaut adrift in space whose helmet breaks after the explosion of his mother ship…

The last creature of an endangered species, barren…

A witness jailed by the judge himself…

What would a mentally handicapped patient would feel if his life would depend on his correct interpretation of the prophecies in all sacred books ever written…

It is hopeless…

…when the dictators indiscriminately questions all by torture

…when we face an unmerciful opponent we never intended to set to ire

How painful it is to see myself at a stake for a crime my judge imagines I commited. My voice falls to deaf ears, my hurting felt by a cold stone heart, my tears appreciated by empty eye sockets…

Lesson Learned: The inquisitorial judgement could only destroy, never create something of lasting value…

…now I understand why the Church had to be persecuted.

Hidden playground...

2007-05-01T11:38:00.000-04:00

Innumerable children exist in the vast expanse of an imaginary, yet always present playground. An ever-changing place filled with all the toys one could have only dreamed of. Near the entrance, a small child waits impatiently for his parents to come for him soon. A ball hits the head of another one who stands sobbing in a corner, the rejection of the rest taking its toll on him. A little girl shares her candy with an older boy, and he takes advantage of her. A pair bickers over broken crayons, ignoring that their painting book has no pages. Behind a few shrubs resting against the fence a few boys play hide-and-seek.

The melody of a pretty girl’s voice rises from between the laughter of the many others ignoring her. Another kid stomps on the ground where two other smaller children build a castle, lifting a trail, a cloud of dust covering his footsteps. Close to them two little girls chase after butterflies.

A line of children, all different ages and races stand in front of the water fountain expectantly, eager to taste the water, the divine fluid that will quench their thirst. Some will drink a little, some end up with their shirts drenched, but all that doesn’t matter to them, all they want is to satiate themselves.

Near the playground’s center, a see-saw ominously decides the fate of two children. One is up a moment, seeing the heavens above, the playground where everyone has fun in one way or another; the other one lies closer to the ground, sacrificing his view for the enjoyment of the first one, voluntarily or not.

And there, in the middle of it all, a bold child stands atop a tall slide and he screams to the top of his lungs in excitement ‘look at me, everyone look at me!’.

Where are you in this playground called life?

Do you see all the beauty around you? Are you filled with insecurities, waiting for someone to come to the rescue while forgetting everything around you? Are you one of those who have always felt rejected by the rest, crying in silence with a heart in agony. Maybe you have given yourself to another only to be taken advantage of.

Do you bicker constantly over broken dreams, over things you just imagine exist or events you think happened?

Are you hiding from the world, or do you search for others only to avoid finding yourself? Do you want to be noticed, or are you one of those who ignore the ones who strive for something better, enviously?

Are you building your future, or are you stepping on someone else’s chance to succeed?

Are you chasing your dreams?

Many stand in line waiting, to finally get what will quench their desires.

Do you sacrifice it all for the betterment of another, or do you just live thinking of what your getting, ignoring other people’s sacrifices?

Are you bold enough to stand out and say ‘here I am, I’m ready to make a change’?