Recalling integrity…

‘Always remember where you came from, and, even if you lose it all don’t lose your integrity’

-My Dad, some time ago

What do you think of when you hear that one word integrity?

What image comes to your mind?

The dictionary defines integrity as ‘wholeness’, ‘moral soundness’, and my personal favorite ‘an undivided or unbroken completeness or totality with nothing wanting’.

I won’t start talking about moral soundness and morality, only because after living through my recent experiences I’ve learned well there are people who just choose to ignore morality(with a billion different excuses for doing so) just to justify their behavior, however aberrant other people would consider it. By the same token this blog would be ignored by them, and I want it to be a learning and teaching experience, not a personal attack.

With nothing wanting…

That part just makes you stand in front of your life’s mirror and evaluate yourself. What have you done in the last year? The last month? The last week? What are the principles you used as a standard to evaluate others and how do you measure up against your own standard? Most of the time we don’t even come close. We fail ourselves.

I have failed myself. I tried to stand firm in my convictions, but was slowly swayed by the deceiving snakes of my personal Eden. The unforgiving claws of shame made me exile myself out of paradise. Unlike Eve facing God I have no excuse. I almost gave in to even the risk of uncontrolled passion and sharing my treasures with strangers, but I didn’t.

Like a failed knight with a charred suit of armor I kneel in front of the light, the light where nothing is hidden from view. I look up and with a weakened smile come to realize I have not completely failed myself. If something, I have succeeded. I have chased the depraved bandits assaulting my dominion, even though it almost cost me my sanity.

Today I stand in the light where I bask. A new suit of silver armor which I hope will reflect upon the light that heals my wounds rests upon my shoulders. A failed knight is more dangerous and more chivalrous upon his return, I will stand firm this time, remembering the treacherous ground I once treaded upon, and I will not walk that path again, ever.

What will you do?

Lesson learned: To succeed in life’s growth process we have to be able to recognize where we fail ourselves. It will then set a firm ground where to set hold when the chaotic maelstrom of confusion comes to consume us.