Dying young...

‘Dying seems less sad than having lived too little’
-Gloria Steinem

…and gasping for air while clutching the hands to the chest in a desperate attempt to catch a single breath, it all ceased to exist…it all vanished…it all left…


What is death other than the termination of all biological functions within a living organism? Is it more than a moment of deep sadness, when someone ceases to be with us, or when we cease to exist.
It is even more than that, for when you drown in your life’s daily struggles, when you are defeated by sadness and overcome by grief you die. So we die a thousand deaths in life.

We can live many years without realizing we’re living a life of death, a ridiculous cycle perpetuated by our enjoyment of the bliss of our ignorance.
Every time you give up, every time you replay the painful memories in your mind, each time you sink into depression you die…

And you will miss all there is to life, and you will cry one day when you realize life is ebbing away and we’re wasting out time ‘thinking’ we are living it to our best.

Breathe in every morning, breathe out. Smile, and remember tough times are just that, time. If they are time they will pass eventually. Unless you revel in those sad nights where you feel like your soul is gasping for air while clutching the hands to the chest in a desperate attempt to catch a single breath, as it all ceases to exist…all vanishes…all leaves…and you return to being nothing.

Unlike most choices we undertake every day there are no gray areas here. Would you well, live a life of death, or would you die having lived well?

Lesson learned: Problems are a problem of the past. Life is here, and I’m not letting it go.

Love shows…

If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it's not enough.
-Ann Landers

Why do you not express love fully, without any regards to what people would/could say/think?

…

Answer yourself…why?

Many of you will answer: because I was never taught how…
Love is described as ‘any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection and attachment. Often a feeling stronger than liking.’

You weren’t taught to breathe, run, or smile. If you think carefully, you weren’t taught to be scared, horrified, or even to hate…and you gladly and easily show them many times…

Why then, is it so hard to show love? Philosophers and psychologists theorize we are/feel weak when we expose our ‘soft side’ by choosing to show love. We fear rejection, and therefore we don’t initiate the complex dance of showing affection.
Yet as children we showed affection and love with no regrets, without any difficulty.
It has been life's ridiculous job to fill us with fear so that we may abstain from showing affection. We, in turn, have been ridiculous enough to follow.
We can criticize others saying they ‘don’t show affection’ but do we do it ourselves? Don’t ask, don’t criticize; SHOW LOVE so that others may see it, feel it, and show it themselves.

There is not just one way to show love, but the hardest way is both, by letting go and by showing affection, specially with others as witnesses.

Just as you show your new car, house, clothes, or muscles, all vain and superficial, material things, show love with pride, and your entire life will change, and so will the life of those around you.


Lesson learned: If I want to learn to love, I should start by loving.

Old man...

'First you are young; then you are middle-aged; then you are old; then you are wonderful.'
-Lady Diana Cooper

The crowing of a rooster transports me to the memory of that little wooden and tin house, across the dusty street from a humble tiny school in his beloved Guaypao. And there, in a little corner lying shirtless, with an old pair of pleated pants an old man dozed off while devouring each word of his treasured morning newspaper.
That old and ugly cockfighter who, much like newborn children was ugly just as he was beautiful.

We would wake up early mornings to the crowing of roosters who would give tribute to their master, father and idol; the same one who'd be followed by hens and chickens while he fed them saying: Pi, pi, pi, piiiii

That old black widow, who charmed women with his flirtatious personality would always make them smile. I never saw him get angry for more than a split second. He would always smile, and those few times when he wasn't, it was because he was thinking of a prank to play on one of his grandchildren.

Old grandpa 'Gil', a man who has been old since my earliest memories, and who always inspired respect and love, always giving them even if he would not get them in return.

Who would think that the same old man who rested upon that little corner had been poor, had worked cutting sugar cane, and had gathered some money with the sweat of his brow. He worked for his children, cared for grandchildren, buried a wife and he also buried a son.

What was he thinking in that little corner where only the breeze would caress him when no one was around? Was he recalling the moment when he met his beloved Salome? Or was he remembering his wedding, or the wedding of one of his daughters? Was he thinking of Tito, Pililo, Toly, or Ramfy in the Army as he silenty sobbed, thinking of how different his life would have been if he had lost just one of them.

No one knows, and no one will ever know...for all we know, Guaypao has lost a character; the roosters will continue to crow thanking God, despite the pair of old, pleated shorts that rest upon a bench alongside an old newspaper who has no one to read it; for no one rests in that little, forgotten corner at the balcony of the wooden and tin house across the dusty street from a humble school in his beloved Guaypao.

Now that old, ugly and beautiful cockfighter walks hand-in-hand with his wife and child, following his master, Father and idol who instead of 'pi, pi, pi, piii' says: 'No more pain, loneliness and suffering...Welcome home."

Lesson learned: Grandpa, I have always admired you more than you have admired me...

Mother's womb...

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.
-Aristotle

A stomp in the ground, followed by 'MOM!!!' Can be heard on an ice cream booth where a small child protests against his mom's desicion.
We have been there so many times. Many more than we can remember. Yet, the memory of walking with that being who would hold us by the hand with love, even after she spanked us silly, or gave us 'the look' that terrified us(but would teach us discipline).

Funny, isn't it, that even if we get angry at her, or blame her for so many things, we can still feel calm when we reach that place where she is, or once was.
Hey, they are far from perfect. Like the best sculpt statue on the largest cathedral, however, they are perfect for us.

Even the most rebellious of children adopt traits of their own angels. And angels they are, I dare say, for how else can you describe a being who nurtures you, holds you close, and is so willing to endure pain, suffering, and even death for us.

After reaching adulthood we still avoid smoking, drinking, using foul language or God knows what because 'my mom is there'.
You may divorce your wife, husband, lover, but you can never divorce your mom. She will welcome you even after an absence of many years, because you are part of her.

You may be far away from her...
...physically,
...emotionally...
Love her, and show her, for one day she will not be here, and you will wish you did.


Lesson learned: If you want to rule the World, love the mothers, the rest will be history.

Present absence...

'Well-timed silence has more eloquence than speech'
Martin Fraquhar Tupper

Those who know me, however, know I won't stay quiet for long...

And I offer no excuse for my long absence, for sometimes the best words are never spoken.
What is silence? Silence is defined as the absence of speech. It can be the result of a brief hesitation, stutters, time for self-correction or slowing down for clarification of a subject.

Some of us see silence as a time to study, listen, evaluate. It is the greatest time for deep introspection.
What a few of us achieve with yoga, meditation, religion or music others can do in complete silence.

Lesson learned: When we stop listening to ourselves we can better understand what goes around us, and understanding is key to achieving a better life and finding a better self.