Obstacle course...

What one decides to do in crisis depends on one's philosophy of life, and that philosophy cannot be changed by an incident. If one hasn't any philosophy in crises, others make the decision.
- Jeannette Rankin


And yet we face another wall one more time. We have fought so hard to achieve one goal and after so many struggles we see the road closed.
A road closed does not mean there is no way. It just represents a temporary hardship, a delay in our plans.

How do you face a seemingly insurmountable problem?

What is your mindset?

Abortionists: A plan that doesn’t work must be abandoned; they change their mind, choose another way and go somewhere else. In the abortionist mindset this is not cowardice, there’s so much to do it’s not even worth spending energy in an obstacle.

Martyrs: They see every obstacle as a personal affront. Martyrs believe obstacles are there to defeat the martyr. But he will survive, with pain(real or imagined) and let everyone know of his struggle.

Victims: Obstacles were created specifically and only for them, like everything else in the world. Victims will surrender, give up, lie down and cry in waiting for someone to rescue them from the ‘claws of the evil obstacle’.

Survivors: Out of fear of what ‘could’ happen, survivors stand in front of the obstacle. They see in the obstacle what they themselves lack. ‘If you can’t defeat it, join it’ is their mentality. In the end they kneel before the obstacle and worship it, they join its forces and become ‘one’ with the obstacle.

Frat boys: In their mind, the main reason why an obstacle can’t be overcome is because you faced it alone. The frat boys bring along people, sometimes a lot of people. With a combined effort any obstacle can be overcome…and a celebration must follow, of course.

Juggernauts: No obstacle is too big or too strong. Nothing is stronger than a Juggernaut’s strength of will. They will back away and, without fear, they will run towards the obstacle to destroy it.

Knights: The knight may not be able to overcome the obstacle, but he is honor bound to stand his ground and not let himself be overcome by the obstacle either. Even if he stays on a standstill he will wait. One day the obstacle will fall, and the knight will still be standing.

Monks: These ascetics believe there is a reason why there is an obstacle. An obstacle is a part of everything. It should be studied, understood, accepted, and ultimately taught to others.

Preachers: Prechers believe they shouldn't be facing any obstacles. Obstacles are for others. They are very willing to mention it at every opportunity, just as eager as they are to help, guide and even order others to overcome the obstacles they would never face themselves.

Strategists: Sometimes one must back away from the hardship, these believe, only to see it from a distance and contemplate. They then plan, search a way, and they use all their efforts to confront the problem differently. Each obstacle is seen as a challenge, as an opportunity to test their wit.


Who are you? How do you face a problem?
Do you face problems, or do you let problems face you?

Life is full of difficulties. Life is not without struggles. When you are struggling to stay afloat you can think one of two things…I can give up and die, or I can fight on and live…


Lesson learned: A roadblock at the end of our road is not the end of the road.

Candle's light...

Every man dies. Not every man really lives.
William Wallace

No matter how busy our lives can be, a day of reflection comes every year.
At least once we can’t help it but reflect in things past.

Have we achieved our goals for this year?
Have we saved as much as we wanted to?
Have we made up peace with someone?
Have we gotten a raise?
Have we meditated enough?

Those can be truly important things to reflect upon…but if those ARE the important things we do reflect upon, then our lives are nothing more than a flicker of a candle waiting to be extinguished.

How many lives have you touched?
How many lives have you changed?
How many have you influenced in a good way?

If you died today…how worth living was your life?
Will you be remembered?
How will you be remembered; or will you fade in the ocean of faces unknown, a specter to be dismissed and exorcised forever from this World when his sentence is due.


Lesson learned: Shine bright as the sun and your life will be worth living.

Falling leaves...

To: Jeff, I am with you in these tough times, my friend...


When the last leaf falls,
When the last breeze leaves,
I’ll be there for you again,
You’ll be there again with me,

When the last leaf falls,
When the fall does leave,
Memories will stay,
They will reign supreme,

When the last leaf falls,
When the last star shines,
Endless time will stop,
It will let us be,
Losing all control,
And its icy grasp,
Hurrying every step,
Of our so called life

When the last leaf falls,
And your earth turns dry,
When there are no tears,
For there’s only peace

When the last leaf falls,
And I’m no more a child,
When our hair turns gray,
Our dreams not as wild

When the last leaf falls
When my eyes do close
You will wait for me
When my last leaf falls…

Inglorious glorification...

'For my part, I consider that it will be found much better by all parties to leave the past to history, especially as I propose to write that history myself.'
-Winston Churchill

What has been the greatest of achievements you've had in your life so far?

Many people have done great things...
Others think or feel they have done great things...

What matters is not how big or small, rather than it was a glorious moment. Sometimes we feel everyone needs to know about it that moment.

Why?

It is because we unconsciously believe that is THE ONE greatest moment. Perhaps we do unconsciously feel no other moment like this will come. And hardly another will come, for in our accepting our 'maximum' we don't strive to achieve it.
Maybe it is because in our self-depreciation we revel in the recognition from others. In any case we are as foolish, senile storytellers of old, telling all around us about what happened so long ago nobody really cares to listen.

We need to be proud of our achievements, of course. However, when those accomplishmentst tower over the way we perceive ourselves it is almost impossible to escape their shadow. We are then engulfed, kept from achieving anything greater by our own effort.

The past is passed, the past is history. It's good to know it and enjoy it, but it shouldn't rule us.
Let your glorious past be a guide to things you want to do, and do even greater things. Do not let it determine that that's your moment, and all that's left is to be forgotten...


Lesson learned: I will not be seduced by the ephemeral hands of past glories, lest I become a statue in Medusa's lair.

Ocean pacific...

Morning time, I lie awake
With no desire but to breathe
And no goal in mind but to take
A plunge in ocean deep

The constant motion
At bewitching hour
Making me prisoner
Of your heart's desire

My curse undeserved
But well received
As every day I see
Your eyes in that ocean

So as I watch the orbs
The enchanting twins
I'm at peace, feeling
Captured...
...amazed...
...enraptured

I become victim
Willing sacrifice
To sorceries eternal
Of smiling charms

I know they're near
Though they are far
So in between
All I have

...is to think

It's late at night, I lie awake
With no desire but to breathe
And no goal in mind but to take
A plunge in your eyes so deep

Pack tactic…

‘The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him’
-Henry Stimson



Even in our most desired independence we are but a conglomeration of characteristics of those around us. However, not the traits, but the amount of each is what define us.

And who are those that help define us? Who are those that surround us? Most importantly, who are those we surround ourselves with?

Out of those around, who can you trust? Who can you truly trust?

To many, the concept of fully trusting other people is difficult to conceive. The main excuse for not trusting others is that ‘others can hurt/disappoint me’.
There are several things to note in that last phrase:
1. What negative trait we see in others, on very many occasions, are negative traits we possess, dislike, and conveniently overlook (think of it next time you criticize someone else).
2. We are giving others the power to determine how we’ll feel.
3. Most importantly, others do not disappoint/hurt you, YOU CHOOSE to feel hurt or disappointed.
4. Time and time again has been proven that those who do not fully trust cannot be trusted themselves.

Wolves live in packs; they are the perfect example of unconditional love, respect, and complete trust. Each one understands their role in their society, and contributes his best for the betterment of the pack as a whole. Every member of the same pack, from the leader to the last one, can trust each and every wolf to do what they must to do preserve the integrity and functionality of their family, thus improving their chances of survival and success. They will surround an opponent, and the same will be defeated by being attacked only by those who can see the weak points. In the meantime the opponent is confused by the unity of the pack.
Everyone’s contribution leads the plan to fruition.

Think of who do you trust enough to have as part of the pack you call your LIFE. Who contributes something useful? Who will lead you to failure? Maybe there’s time for some changes.

Lesson learned: Surround yourself with those people you trust, and trust those people you surround yourself with.

Goal set…

'In order to reach your goal you must first define it...'
-The Puppet Master


Where were you one year ago from today?

What were you doing?

How did you feel back then?

Where were you hoping to be today?

How far from where you expected to be have you drifted?

…why?



What has become your prison?
What has seemed so strong you have surrendered and given ultimate power to rule over your life, change it, and bring you here today?

Do take some time to set a goal for yourself, see it in the horizon as a lighthouse and let it shine even in the darkest hour or torrential rain. We get caught up in so many things each day that we sometimes seem to navigate endlessly, gazing mesmerized at the many beautiful and bright stars, only to forget we were being guided. Your will fades, your strength dwindles, and then we consciously/unconsciously conform to the meager leftover of others…because it is easier in life not to struggle.

Well you don’t have to struggle. You can refocus today.
Instead of inviting someone to eat, go by yourself. Do not read a newspaper or magazine. Just sit for a brief moment, turn your cell phone off.
Write down on a piece of paper that new dream, the new goal. Think of it hardly enough, and better than that, believe it will happen, because this time you WILL make it happen.

Save that little piece of paper, and let it be your lighthouse. Nothing will deter you.
I am doing this right now, and I encourage you to do it with me.

Let us help each other achieve our goals.



Lesson learned: I will not be an unwilling obstacle, rather a willing facilitator to someone else’s growth.

Winner's circle...

‘Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing’
-Vince Lombardi

After a long and arduous race ends someone gets the first place. That someone is clearly joyous.
If you participated, how do you feel if you were second? How about third? Last?
‘Participation is what matters’ are the most common words echoed by all those who weren’t first place.
Why do they say so?
They do because they are not the winners. Not only are they not ‘the winners’, but they are just proving themselves time and time again that they lack what it takes to be a winner.

How do you define ‘Win’? Think of it for a second: What does it mean to you when you hear the word ‘Win’?

To Win is defined as: to finish first in a race, contest or the like. That is what most of us think of when we hear the term.
However, it is also defined as: To succeed by great effort, to be successful, and to overcome the adversary.

Most times our main adversary is within us. It is that loser within that keeps us from becoming successful, and convinces us that ‘participating’ is what matters.
When you participate you just ‘take a part of/in’. It means you are just one more.

From now on: stop looking at other’s positions in the Race of Life to determine if you’re a winner, a participant or just a loser. Look at your own position, enjoy your journey while you take part on it, and win.

Open up your eyes and hearts to a new mentality, feel like a winner; be a winner, and BECOME A WINNER. It will move you one step closer to your ultimate happiness.

Lesson learned: There can be no losing in the road to happiness, for even those who pass away are not lost, for they are still within us.

Singled out...

If love conquers all...then conquer yourself and rule the world!
-The Puppet Master

Isn’t it great to have someone else?


Think of waking up in the morning to see your loved one’s face as they sleep at peace. It gives us a sense of warmth, of love that is being the reflection of our own emotion.

Think of the beautiful smile of that other half, and how it has(and continues to) brightened your many days and the laughter many nights.

Think of that calming touch of that someone who has dispelled all fears with but a single caress.

Think of the watery eyes of our loved one when they gaze at our own unable to hide their hurting, and think of how you can’t help it but disarm yourself when you love that someone’s eyes.

Isn’t it great to have someone else?
Someone asked me today: How can you be single? There must be something very wrong with you…

To many, being alone is a dreadful nightmare.
Being alone is not, but can definitely be…


Why is being single so negative? Or better…why does it seem so?


As a human race, our goal in life is to be fruitful and reproduce, to be successful, and to be with someone. It is just because we are misdirected.
In that desperation we seek others that have their own ‘baggage’ of problems, and we seek to ‘love through helping others’ rather than ‘helping others though love’.

Our goal should be to love ourselves, to be happy with ourselves.
That will stop us from looking in someone else for that which we are lacking. We will truly be able to fall in love, and find that someone who instead of ‘completing us’ will ‘complement us’.

Lesson learned: Isn’t it great to have someone else? It certainly is, when that someone is worth it…

Remembering remembrance...

To: Larry White

'The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.'
-Carl Jung (1875 - 1961)

Just nine days before my departure I have sat down to contemplate what a year this has been.
I have made plenty of enemies, haha, willing or not.
There has been so much drama, I could write a novel with all of it.
There has been sad moments...

But none of these are worthy to remember. These are placed down on a dark and musty chest, which is closed and sent to the bottom of the sea, its key left to rust on the seashore.

Now friendship, on the other hand, will mark us forever. In doing so, friendship makes each one of us a better person.

Think for just ten seconds of whose name comes to your mind when you hear the word 'friend'.
Now, think again whose name comes to mind when I say 'true friend'.
A true friend is a person we love, even if we love to hate them at times. That person who does not have to say much to mean much, and whose mere gaze strengthens us. What best to arrive at that friend's house and feel you're at home, and welcome.
And how great the feeling that your particular friend has your favorite dish prepared for you.
You know why? Because you are loved.
Let them know how much they mean to you, and how much you love them. You never know, they may need to hear it right at this moment.

Think now, would your name come to people's minds when they think of the word 'friend'? How about 'true friend'? If not, then you're doing something wrong...

Thank you, my dear friend Larry. If someone ever asked me what a true friend is I would just have to introduce them to you.

Lesson learned: The ornaments of my life are the friends I keep.

Asking why...

'Everything has got a moral if you can only find it.'
-Lewis Carroll (1832 - 1898)

Why...
Three letters that are just so familiar.
That is the question we have learned to ask the most since our earliest childhood.
Its a simple word that holds so much power, for it can stop our personal growth on its track to leave us defenseless like lost children; in the wake of our realization that we lack wisdom we become weaker, conquered.

Why...
...does X happen to us?
Why...
...does Y have to die/leave?

It is not the question that matters but the answer, for unanswered questions just raise more questions and doubts to solve nothing. And yeah, trying to find an answer can seem like an ordeal in itself. Sometimes we must not seek the answer, but let the answer come to us.

Whenever you face an unexpected event ask yourself why, sure, but choose not to dwell on the questioning. Be patient, seek, explore, understand the answer once you got it, for then you will have peace instead of living in the stressed caused by the uncertainty of 'the why'. And even then, in the end, don't just conform yourself with the answer. Learn from it, grow, become stronger and wiser.


Lesson learned: Answers are like squirrels, sometimes all there is left is to wait...it may be eating its acorn right atop your head.

Dream on...

'All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible'
-Thomas E. Lawrence

'It was just a dream' we hear say(when we are not saying it ourselves). With those simple words the magic of that moment is dispelled so that we, in the reality of our daily lives, can live on. We wake up, dress up, eat, and go to work/school, come home and go sleep...the next day it all happens again, and life becomes dull, and it all falls down to our looking forward to our vacations or retirement.

When, I ask you, did you stop dreaming? When did your thoughts of a bright future, of adventure, of loving, get replced by the boredom of your current daily life?
Some say you stop dreaming when you finally grow up...
Was Christopher Columbus a child, then, when he sought to conquer the seas to follow his dream? I believe he was not.
You stop dreaming when, for some reason, you start not thinking, but actively BELIEVING you have achieved all you can ever be, and then you become one more statue in the museum of our daily existence. A simple statue, just existing, just being there, to be seen.

You can surely remember every time you dreamed, or remembered a dream a feeling of joy permeated your soul. You basked in the light of that bright future that you saw for yourself.

Today, take a single minute to sit down, relax a minute, and dream...

Lesson learned: Dreams are the fountains of youth inside each one of us

Final graduation...

Our ideals resemble the stars, which illuminate the night. No one will ever be able to touch them. But the men who, like sailors on the ocean, take them for guides, will undoubtedly reach their goal.
-Carl Schurz

As I stood on that podium ready to receive my diploma many wonderful moments came to mind, and with a deep breath I thought...one more step...

Can you recall the moment when you thought 'This is the climax of my career/life'?
If you can, when was that?

Let me tell you one thing: if your life has truly reached its climax then what awaits you is the cruel reality of your realization that you will not live a happy life. At least not until you realize each mountaintop is but the top of one of many mountains you will explore in life. It all depends on your desire to reach a new goal, to achieve something different every time.

Smile with each achievement, but to not let it cloud your mind to make you think you're at your best and that's all there is to it. Don't accept life just as it is, for life will definitely not accept you just as you are.

Strive, fight, grow, be the best you can be, rest, and once again...strive, fight, grow, to be the best that you can ever be.

Lesson learned: In order to make my life worthwhile I will do my best to graduate from life itself with honors.

Dying young...

‘Dying seems less sad than having lived too little’
-Gloria Steinem

…and gasping for air while clutching the hands to the chest in a desperate attempt to catch a single breath, it all ceased to exist…it all vanished…it all left…


What is death other than the termination of all biological functions within a living organism? Is it more than a moment of deep sadness, when someone ceases to be with us, or when we cease to exist.
It is even more than that, for when you drown in your life’s daily struggles, when you are defeated by sadness and overcome by grief you die. So we die a thousand deaths in life.

We can live many years without realizing we’re living a life of death, a ridiculous cycle perpetuated by our enjoyment of the bliss of our ignorance.
Every time you give up, every time you replay the painful memories in your mind, each time you sink into depression you die…

And you will miss all there is to life, and you will cry one day when you realize life is ebbing away and we’re wasting out time ‘thinking’ we are living it to our best.

Breathe in every morning, breathe out. Smile, and remember tough times are just that, time. If they are time they will pass eventually. Unless you revel in those sad nights where you feel like your soul is gasping for air while clutching the hands to the chest in a desperate attempt to catch a single breath, as it all ceases to exist…all vanishes…all leaves…and you return to being nothing.

Unlike most choices we undertake every day there are no gray areas here. Would you well, live a life of death, or would you die having lived well?

Lesson learned: Problems are a problem of the past. Life is here, and I’m not letting it go.

Love shows…

If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it's not enough.
-Ann Landers

Why do you not express love fully, without any regards to what people would/could say/think?

…

Answer yourself…why?

Many of you will answer: because I was never taught how…
Love is described as ‘any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection and attachment. Often a feeling stronger than liking.’

You weren’t taught to breathe, run, or smile. If you think carefully, you weren’t taught to be scared, horrified, or even to hate…and you gladly and easily show them many times…

Why then, is it so hard to show love? Philosophers and psychologists theorize we are/feel weak when we expose our ‘soft side’ by choosing to show love. We fear rejection, and therefore we don’t initiate the complex dance of showing affection.
Yet as children we showed affection and love with no regrets, without any difficulty.
It has been life's ridiculous job to fill us with fear so that we may abstain from showing affection. We, in turn, have been ridiculous enough to follow.
We can criticize others saying they ‘don’t show affection’ but do we do it ourselves? Don’t ask, don’t criticize; SHOW LOVE so that others may see it, feel it, and show it themselves.

There is not just one way to show love, but the hardest way is both, by letting go and by showing affection, specially with others as witnesses.

Just as you show your new car, house, clothes, or muscles, all vain and superficial, material things, show love with pride, and your entire life will change, and so will the life of those around you.


Lesson learned: If I want to learn to love, I should start by loving.

Old man...

'First you are young; then you are middle-aged; then you are old; then you are wonderful.'
-Lady Diana Cooper

The crowing of a rooster transports me to the memory of that little wooden and tin house, across the dusty street from a humble tiny school in his beloved Guaypao. And there, in a little corner lying shirtless, with an old pair of pleated pants an old man dozed off while devouring each word of his treasured morning newspaper.
That old and ugly cockfighter who, much like newborn children was ugly just as he was beautiful.

We would wake up early mornings to the crowing of roosters who would give tribute to their master, father and idol; the same one who'd be followed by hens and chickens while he fed them saying: Pi, pi, pi, piiiii

That old black widow, who charmed women with his flirtatious personality would always make them smile. I never saw him get angry for more than a split second. He would always smile, and those few times when he wasn't, it was because he was thinking of a prank to play on one of his grandchildren.

Old grandpa 'Gil', a man who has been old since my earliest memories, and who always inspired respect and love, always giving them even if he would not get them in return.

Who would think that the same old man who rested upon that little corner had been poor, had worked cutting sugar cane, and had gathered some money with the sweat of his brow. He worked for his children, cared for grandchildren, buried a wife and he also buried a son.

What was he thinking in that little corner where only the breeze would caress him when no one was around? Was he recalling the moment when he met his beloved Salome? Or was he remembering his wedding, or the wedding of one of his daughters? Was he thinking of Tito, Pililo, Toly, or Ramfy in the Army as he silenty sobbed, thinking of how different his life would have been if he had lost just one of them.

No one knows, and no one will ever know...for all we know, Guaypao has lost a character; the roosters will continue to crow thanking God, despite the pair of old, pleated shorts that rest upon a bench alongside an old newspaper who has no one to read it; for no one rests in that little, forgotten corner at the balcony of the wooden and tin house across the dusty street from a humble school in his beloved Guaypao.

Now that old, ugly and beautiful cockfighter walks hand-in-hand with his wife and child, following his master, Father and idol who instead of 'pi, pi, pi, piii' says: 'No more pain, loneliness and suffering...Welcome home."

Lesson learned: Grandpa, I have always admired you more than you have admired me...

Mother's womb...

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.
-Aristotle

A stomp in the ground, followed by 'MOM!!!' Can be heard on an ice cream booth where a small child protests against his mom's desicion.
We have been there so many times. Many more than we can remember. Yet, the memory of walking with that being who would hold us by the hand with love, even after she spanked us silly, or gave us 'the look' that terrified us(but would teach us discipline).

Funny, isn't it, that even if we get angry at her, or blame her for so many things, we can still feel calm when we reach that place where she is, or once was.
Hey, they are far from perfect. Like the best sculpt statue on the largest cathedral, however, they are perfect for us.

Even the most rebellious of children adopt traits of their own angels. And angels they are, I dare say, for how else can you describe a being who nurtures you, holds you close, and is so willing to endure pain, suffering, and even death for us.

After reaching adulthood we still avoid smoking, drinking, using foul language or God knows what because 'my mom is there'.
You may divorce your wife, husband, lover, but you can never divorce your mom. She will welcome you even after an absence of many years, because you are part of her.

You may be far away from her...
...physically,
...emotionally...
Love her, and show her, for one day she will not be here, and you will wish you did.


Lesson learned: If you want to rule the World, love the mothers, the rest will be history.

Present absence...

'Well-timed silence has more eloquence than speech'
Martin Fraquhar Tupper

Those who know me, however, know I won't stay quiet for long...

And I offer no excuse for my long absence, for sometimes the best words are never spoken.
What is silence? Silence is defined as the absence of speech. It can be the result of a brief hesitation, stutters, time for self-correction or slowing down for clarification of a subject.

Some of us see silence as a time to study, listen, evaluate. It is the greatest time for deep introspection.
What a few of us achieve with yoga, meditation, religion or music others can do in complete silence.

Lesson learned: When we stop listening to ourselves we can better understand what goes around us, and understanding is key to achieving a better life and finding a better self.